Bring It On! - Chapter 30

Chapter 30.

Sometimes, on days when Suho woke up earlier than Jay, the morning kiss was completely out of the question. On those days, Jay would sulk like the world was ending. No one was more obsessed with kisses than him. He acted like a teenager burning with raging hormones.

Most of the time, Jay would initiate the kiss, setting the mood first, though occasionally, I would be the one to lean in. I’d never really associated kissing with anything romantic or exciting. 

I just vaguely thought of it as a form of connection between lovers or family. But the kiss that had started on a whim stirred up an unexpected thrill.

I knew full well how irrational and unhealthy it was to keep kissing someone I had no real relationship with, just because I was blinded by lust. That’s why I was trying so hard not to get caught by Suho.

And yet, the fact that I couldn’t firmly push Jay away made me wonder if I was always this weak to temptation. Still, I had no intention of dragging this out. It was just a discreet indulgence, a secret pleasure I allowed myself only in this place.

***

“Suho, wake up.”

“Mmm…”

Suho, unusually for him, was sluggish and couldn’t wake up easily. I only asked him to go wash up, but he wouldn’t open his eyes. Worried he might be sick, I took his temperature and checked for rashes under his clothes, but he seemed fine.

Part of me felt bad seeing Suho whine like this for the first time in a while. I wanted to let him sleep longer. But skipping meals was out of the question. So Jay and I prepared breakfast on our own, letting Suho sleep a little more.

Even though he got up later than usual, Suho still looked completely drained. Did he overwork himself yesterday? 

But there wasn’t much to think about. We’d just done the usual. Jay chopped wood, Suho helped him, and I assembled the ceiling part of the shelter.

“Suho, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“It’s just…”

“Did something happen yesterday that I don’t know about? Were you sick last night or something?”

“It’s not that.”

Suho mumbled, unable to give a clear answer. Then Jay casually rested his heavy arm on Suho’s shoulder.

“He just wants to play freely for once.”

Both Suho and I turned to look at Jay. He handed Suho his chopsticks and asked, “I’m right, aren’t I?” 

Suho’s expression twitched slightly. He looked irritated that Jay had seen through him so easily. It seemed to have bruised his pride.

I pinched the back of Jay’s hand dangling under Suho’s shoulder.

“If that’s all, you could’ve said so. After breakfast, go wash up and rest all day.”

“Just me?”

“Of course. Don’t worry about me and Jay.”

Even with those reassuring words, Suho’s expression didn’t soften. Was puberty already hitting him? I’d never looked after a kid of Suho’s age before, so it was hard to read him. Even when I kept asking, “What’s wrong?” Suho only opened his mouth slightly but couldn’t answer.

That’s when I felt a cold fingertip poke the tip of my nose. Jay, sitting across from me, shook his head with a strangely annoying look on his face.

“You really don’t get how he feels.”

“And you do?”

“He wants all of us to take a break. You and I keep chopping wood. How’s he supposed to relax properly? Right? Come on, admit it. I’m helping you out here.”

Jay nudged Suho lightly with his elbow. Even though it was a light touch, Suho’s body swayed to the side. Surprisingly, he didn’t deny what Jay said.

“Since when were you ever against playing around? You’d always go down to the beach even when I was working.”

“That was his version of helping out too.”

“Oh, are you his spokesperson now? Be quiet. Suho, you tell me yourself.”

Suho fiddled with his chopsticks, then glanced up at Jay with a slightly resentful look. Jay ran his finger across his lips like zipping them shut, telling Suho that since his mouth was sealed, it was up to him to speak.

Suho let out a small sigh, and after a while, he finally spoke up.

“I want to play with you and hyung together.”

“……”

Jay had already said it once, but hearing it come out of Suho’s mouth made something click. It felt like I’d overlooked something important. Seeing that child, struggling to be mindful of the adults and finally voicing what he wanted with such hesitation, made my heart ache. Had I been too focused on survival?

Sure, building the shelter was urgent, but not so urgent that we couldn’t spare a single day. At this pace, we’d likely be done within a week anyway.

I thought I had been considerate in my own way toward young Suho, but that was all based on my standards. Giving him less work and sending him into the shelter whenever he looked tired wasn’t enough to count as proper care. 

A child should laugh, chatter, and play like a child. And since there were no kids his age here, it had to be us who played the role of his friends.

Suho had been holding it in all this time, only now letting it out in the most passive way. What he really wanted was to spend time together with us.

When I didn’t respond and just looked at him silently, Suho quickly became disheartened and lowered his gaze. Then suddenly, he punched Jay’s arm with all his might. Jay let out a loud “Ow!” and grabbed the spot where he was hit. But with a tiny fist like that, it couldn’t possibly have hurt. What a drama queen.

“Hyung just wanted to slack off and used me as an excuse.”

“Hey, brat. You really sold me out without blinking, huh?”

“S-Shut up! It’s your fault! You’re the one who said weird stuff…!”

“Let’s not chop any wood today.”

I spoke calmly, cutting through Suho’s flustered voice. Suho, who had been throwing a fit and letting all his little tantrums out on Jay, looked up at me with wide, surprised eyes.

“…Really?”

“Why are you so shocked? It’s not a big deal. No one touches an axe today.”

“Whoa, really?! You mean it, right?! You’re not gonna take it back?!”

As if he had never been upset in the first place, Suho brightened up and bounced excitedly in place. I gave Jay a look, and he grabbed Suho’s shoulders with both hands and gently pushed him back down into his seat.

“So, what do you want to do?”

“Um, well…”

Suho’s eyes darted around, as if he hadn’t thought that far ahead.

“No one’s chasing you. Take your time.”

Jay popped a slice of zucchini into Suho’s mouth, and Suho started chewing while clearly trying hard to come up with an idea. While we gave him the space to think, Jay and I resumed our breakfast with small talk.

***

“Let’s do laundry!”

It was after we had finished tidying up and all three of us were lying belly-down in the shelter. Suho, who had been sprawled horizontally across Jay’s back, suddenly shouted.

“I thought you wanted to play?”

“We are playing, while doing laundry. We’re moving to the new house soon, right? I wanna sleep in the new place with clean, freshly washed blankets.”

Was he serious? I had expected him to say something like hide-and-seek or Red Light, Green Light. But after all that serious thinking, he came up with laundry?

“You really want to do laundry?”

“Yup, yup!!!”

Suho nodded enthusiastically.

I glanced around. The blankets we’d been lying on and covering ourselves with were covered in stains from who knows where. We were used to the stench now, but the reality was that these blankets were far from sanitary. If we kept sleeping under them, we might end up with some new illness we didn’t even have before.

“They are kinda rotten,” Jay added, as if reading my mind.

Suho eagerly folded up one of the blankets and hugged it to his chest like he was about to sprint straight to the creek.

Only then did Jay and I get up as well.

“If something fun comes to mind while we’re washing, you have to tell us, okay?”

“I will!”

But judging by Suho’s face, flushed with excitement, it didn’t seem like he could even think about anything other than laundry at that moment.