I Don’t Want to Attack You! - Chapter 1

“Please put it away…”

“Yes?”

“Stop rubbing and put your hands away…”

I could feel the thing I had inadvertently grasped getting harder and harder in my hand. I slowly lowered my head. It wasn’t the rope I snatched for life or death. It was Priest Ashur’s cock.

“No, why is this in my hand…”

Priest Ashur was grabbed by me helplessly with his legs wide open, holding his genitals. His chest rose and fell rapidly. The lobe of his ears and neck were stained red as if from a fire.

It seemed as if tears were welling up in his eyes.

I put my hands behind my back in surprise, as if I had been burned. No, I meant to. But contrary to my will, my fingers gripped the erect penis tightly.

“Kuhhh……!”

“The size is great. Are you begging me to fuck you with your cock erect like this?”

“…”

Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy! Words so low that I couldn’t even imagine coming out of my mouth came out. It was never my will. This twisted tongue roared wildly.

“It’s pretty when you quietly spread your legs. Why don’t you be my lover instead of the priest? I will treat you well.”

What the hell am I talking about? His face was full of shame and displeasure. Even so, he seemed shocked by the steady response of his penis under my hand. Both Ashur and I couldn’t come to our senses in the embarrassing situation and stood firm. How common is it to run around like dying to avoid a swarm of bees and then massage the priest’s genitals?

“Hurry up and…”

The low-pitched voice continued to speak with difficulty as if holding back something. At this moment, I heard the sound of the door opening behind me.

“Oh my!”

“Yes, priest?!”

Someone caught his breath in surprise. Before I could grasp the situation, a ‘click!’ shutter sound spread. Soon after, an intense flash came out and attacked Ashur. The hand on his penis was freed at the same time as the light flashed. I hurriedly took my hand back from his penis.

Above the white priestly clothes, the outline of a large, blunt object was visible. As I stared at it, Ashur hurriedly put his legs together.

“Priest, are you okay? Oh my god.”

The lady grabbed the hem of her turquoise skirt and ran to Ashur. It was Mrs. Carlotta. The lady also checked between Ashur’s legs and hurriedly covered her mouth.

… That Mrs. Carlotta is here.

I turned around. Olga was staring at me blankly. Smoke was rising from the camera installed in front of her.

“Heather, what have you done?”

Olga muttered to herself. I hurriedly waved my hands and denied the sin.

“This was an accident. A swarm of bees suddenly flew at me.”

“Swarm?”

“Yes. From Jungnang to here, relentlessly pursue me…!”

Others, including Olga, didn’t look good. Olga asked with a frown in her eyes.

“Where the hell are the bees?”

Come to think of it, after bumping into Priest Ashur. The hum had stopped like a lie.

“What the hell… I’m sure I was just there…”

I looked around in bewilderment. However, the swarm of bees that should have been seen was not visible, and instead, familiar pink masses were falling from the high dome-shaped ceiling. It’s an elephant! Not only that, but a swarm of bees that threatened me was circling the elephant. As the elephant stirred its long trunk, the bees disappeared instantly.

Others seemed to be unable to see the elephant. I was stunned alone with my eyes wide open.

“What the hell is this…”

I couldn’t take my eyes off the elephant. The elephant puts both feet on my shoulder before I know it. Put it up, then he whispered in my ear.

“I’m here to repay the favor.”

[‘Nailuch City Daily’ Exclusive Scoop! Candidate for the next high priest, Ashur Renver! Chastity threatened]

“…There was an incident where a believer who had dark feelings for Priest Ashur sexually harassed Priest Ashur. Many witnessed her hand squeezing Priest Ashur’s testicles with precision. Priest Ashur is said to have left in a hurry in shock. Eyewitnesses who witnessed the scene raised curiosity once again as they testified that Priest Ashur’s secret body parts were as huge as iron stakes…”

I couldn’t bear to read the article and crumpled the daily newspaper. Is this a knight or a sensual novel? At the bottom of the front page of the daily newspaper was the name of ‘Olga Hentry.’ No matter how unpopular, daily newspapers need people’s attention. The content is too stimulating. And besides, I’m not a long-time follower of Ashur!

I scratched my neck in annoyance.

“It’s written as if I planned it and attacked Ashur.”

Still, Olga didn’t put my name in the daily newspaper, probably because she was considerate of me as a friend. In the photo, only my back and outstretched hands were visible, so no one thought that the believer in the article was me. However, Ashur’s penis, which my hands were held tightly, and Ashur’s puzzled expression with his legs spread apart were captured very clearly. Rumor has it that Ashur is coping with the shock of the disaster by praying to God.

“… ugh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

Ashur spat out an unheard-of apology several times. I wanted to hit my head and die.

It’s all because of that elephant.

Crunch-

I raised my head in pursuit of the crunching noise. A pink elephant was floating in the air with its plump belly upside down. In his hand was a dried peach chip. She didn’t know where he got it from.

I tossed the daily newspaper against the wall.

“Tell me. What are you?”

The elephant, enjoying the sweets with his eyes closed, raised only one eye slightly. Then let out a deep sigh. Who wants to sigh right now……!

The elephant shoved all the remaining peach chips into his mouth. It flies right in front of my eyes while murmuring its swollen cheeks.

After the elephant swallowed everything in its mouth, it patted its chest as if it had choked up.

“Collock, hmm… As for me, the most majestic and benevolent of the five gods you worship.”

Elephants have consistently claimed to be ‘gods’. It is also the god of love. But what god in the world sniffs for lack of a nose covering on a midsummer night, and humiliates the priest?

“Don’t tell me you’re ‘Agropada.’”

“There are many names that call me ‘Agropada,’ ‘Eros,’ ‘Cupid.’ But no human being knows my real name.”

The elephant covered its mouth with a round hand and smiled suspiciously. I sat down in a chair and asked.

“What’s your real name?”

“Poring.”

“… It’s a pony-like name for a god.”

“That’s narrow thinking, Heather.”

Poring sat with his butt on the table. He wiggles his legs in the air and stares up at me. I put one hand on my forehead and said.

“I don’t care if you’re a pony or whatever. How the hell are you going to fix this?”

“Because it is God. Poring.”

“What kind of god would play such a low prank? Inside the temple too!”

Poring suddenly jumped onto my thighs. With two dainty feet, it beeps, beeps approaches, and grabs my index finger. He then made her touch his nose mask.

“You helped me. That’s why I’m repaying the favor.”

I pulled out my hand and gritted my teeth.

“This does not favor.”

“Why? What’s wrong with making hot love with the most handsome man on the continent? Heather also said she liked handsome men at the time.”

“What you did wasn’t making me passionately in love. You made me an unscrupulous pervert!”

Poring sat down on my thigh. Then he said as if he was sorry.

“It’s a little problematic.”

“What?”

“I can plant love in the hearts of men. A relationship that used to be enemies can be made into a couple of centuries that must be each other overnight. People said they hate and hate these couples, but they only liked them. So, for a while, I chose only the offspring of the enemy’s family and weaved a lot of weaving.”

“What are you talking about? Speak in a way I can understand.”

Poring poked me in the stomach and smiled broadly.

“I meant to use my ability to weave you and the most beautiful man on the continent.”

“… By planting love.”

Suddenly, a memory flashed through my head like a flash. The young musician who left with Olga.

‘You said he wasn’t interested in you.’

At that time, Poring appeared. As soon as Poring kissed the young musician’s cheek, the young musician, who had been amused, suddenly sent a warm look at Olga. Are you saying this was all love designed by that elephant?

So, what Poring is saying… It’s not like a boring joke.

“… Are you a god?”

“Hmmm! Now we can talk!”

I hurriedly covered my gaping mouth with both hands. Poring waved his hand and said as if it was nothing.

“You don’t have to be too hard on yourself.”

“Such a petty god…”

“What?”

I pretended not to say anything. No matter how much the identity of God was an elephant that changed its dignity, the liver was not large enough to openly blasphemy.

“I heard there was a problem. Please explain that first.”

“The fact that the best handsome man to be your partner is ‘Ashur Renver’ is itself a problem.”

“Because he’s a priest?”

Poring shook his head and continued with a more serious face than ever before.

“The divine power is too strong.”

“…”

“We, the five gods, have limited the divine powers we can use in Middle-earth. But there was never a time when I felt I lacked divine power. Until I met Ashur.”

“…”

“It seems that Ashur was sent to Middle-earth with too much divine power. What is the point of being born as the most beautiful and handsome man on the continent?”

“You guys made it that way!”

“Therefore. If someone says God is fair, put a fist in their mouth.”

I was speechless at Poring’s impudent reply. Why is there such an irresponsible God? The ceiling paintings surrounding the magnificent temple of Argiheum felt like waste. It is said that an ancient painter painted each one with a brush made from goat hair… It seemed that his noble faith and efforts were disappearing in vain. I sighed inwardly. However, she could not hide her disrespectful feelings.

“That look. That’s blasphemy.”

When Poring pointed out, I decided to keep my eyes on the air and pretend not to know.

“What?”

“Although I may look irresponsible in your eyes, I was the one who trapped the monsters in the deep sea thousands of years ago. The Heavenly Demon War has been fought countless times. Just for you humans. The cold nose disease is also a wound of glory caused during the War of the Heavenly Demon. ”

“…”

“Now that there are no monsters and the demons are hiding, people’s faith in God has greatly diminished. No wonder. Because there are not many people who desperately need God in the land of peace. So, it’s natural for our gods to relax, too.”

“… so, what do you want to say?”

It meant that even if Ashur was born without all his abilities, he should understand and move on. Just because Ashur was born well doesn’t have a significant impact on me. My stomach hurts for about a minute. I roughly nodded.

“I got it. Because Priest Ashur’s divine power is too strong, it means that Poring’s divine power doesn’t work. I understand that far. But why did you release the bees?”

“If you can’t control Ashur’s mind, I’ll forcefully grant you that environment.”

“That kind of environment?”

“An inevitable environment where Ashur and you have no choice but to share passionate love.”

What kind of reckless blessing is there? I didn’t want to spend a hot night with him until a swarm of bees chased me. And what is Ashur’s sin?

“I do not need it! It’s crazy that I don’t have to receive that blessing… No, please stop doing immoral things right now!”

Poring’s eyebrows slanted downward. Then he says with a somber face.

“That’s not allowed. I am a god who always repays the favor when I am in debt. So far, I have given blessings to 9999 humans, and not a single human has refused my blessing.”

“What does that matter? They say I don’t want to receive it.”

“You are the person who receives my ten thousandth blessing. My career cannot be destroyed because Ashur has strong divine power.”

“…”

So, that meant that repaying the favor was a slick excuse, and she did not want to break the record of blessings set by Poring himself. I’ve only now noticed that people laugh rather than get angry when people hear something too absurd. He couldn’t answer anything and let out a weak laugh.

In addition, Poring’s voice was deeply rooted in firmness that any words could not persuade. I instinctively realized that I would never give up my will, even if I made a fuss about dying. An overwhelming feeling of frustration hit her head. And at the same time, doubts crept in.

Then what should I do…?

No one has been able to give me an answer. I stared blankly at Poring, smiling brightly while wearing the nose covering I had sewn myself.

“Do not worry! I’ll do whatever it takes to let you steal Ashur’s virginity!”

I calmly felt that I was fucked at the words of Poring, who shouted confidently.