The Female Knight of Doom - TFKOD 34: God and The Believer

This question perplexed Alice quite a bit.

She had never given it much thought, though it was odd to admit.

She was in a panic after losing her mother when she first met Cecilion. In addition to her hatred of the Goddess Fragna, she also harbored a small desire to receive a motherly love when she prayed to him.

That’s when his soft voice came down from above.

Despite not being accepted as a believer right away, she was given a clear path and a lot of support regardless.

This grace of re-creation was equal to her mother’s grace, particularly after He saved her life.

To claim that she viewed him as a mother or a woman, however, was untrue.

She was no longer a child, but she still missed her mother a lot.

She knew that her love for him was not the same as her love for her mother. However, she was certain that her mood when she prayed was entirely different from her mother’s mood when she prayed to Goddess Fragna, so she didn’t think it was just the typical feelings between a god and a believer at that point.

Does Alice consider him to be a man, then?

It was actually a little hard for her not to compare him to the men she knew.

Since childhood, she had been fatherless, and she always seemed to have a slightly incomplete understanding of men. Although she had many acquaintances, she didn’t have many close relationships with them.

Only Rom, her tavern boss Hewlett, and Burke, with whom she had grown up, could be considered familiar.

Etienne, on the other hand, was a good-looking man who had aided her on multiple occasions, even giving her priceless armor. A temple priest of noble birth like him should have made her feel very close to him, but she always thought that he could only be appreciated from a distance.

He was so far away from her that it was even harder to tell what sort of person he was.

She no longer harbored resentment toward Burke, but she still didn’t want to think about the memories connected to him; Hewlett’s gentleness as a tavern owner was somewhat similar to Cecilion’s, but his focus was entirely on Lina, and he seldom showed it to anyone else. He seemed more tolerant because he didn’t give a damn.

Rom had been her guardian for a number of years. Emotionally, he resembled her father in some ways, despite his occasionally untrustworthy appearance.

She was certain that her perception of Cecilion was different.

In any case, it seems incorrect to compare these individuals to Cecilion; they are not on the same level, and it is odd to even consider them to be of the same gender.

Cecilion is simply Cecilion in Alice’s mind; she is unable to assign him a role in the established social relationships, and she is obviously unable to determine which gender she would prefer him to be.

She really gave it careful consideration, worried fervently, and gave it her full attention, but she was still clueless.

She could only give him an honest response, “I don’t know.”

It was unclear whether He had once more overheard her thoughts, but there was a hint of amusement in his voice, “I just asked in passing. I could only make a person with an empty form who couldn’t change into a real man or woman, even if you could tell me. I didn’t have a gender at first, and it can be challenging to comprehend how the sexes differ from one another.”

“Do you… not have a gender?”

She never thought the true answer would be this, even though she was unable to give him a gender.

The other gods she was aware of were all gendered: Goddess Fragna was a woman, God Bertucci was a man, the Goddess of Light was a woman, and the God of Light was a man.

Everything is obvious and unquestionable.

The God of Poets is the only thing that causes Alice some conflict. The statue of the God of Poets in the temple had appeared androgynous to her before.

But being androgynous may still suggest a gender difference, which appears to be a little different from Cecilion.

“I am not like those other gods. They established their gender at birth, as is human nature. However, I am the God of the Future. I am an idea, I am logos, I am essence. Have you ever heard of gendered concepts?”

Ideology? The Logos? What are these?

The topic of conversation veered off course once more, giving her a headache, but this time it was Cecilion rather than the Great Mother.

In an attempt to keep up with the flow of thought, she focused intensely because she wanted to learn more about him, “Are you not a child of the Great Mother as well? What sets you apart from the other gods?”

“The Great Mother gives birth in a variety of ways. Before giving birth to other gods, she first created the God of Light, Nagali, and the God of Darkness, Ludnir. I came into the world after them, shaped by the Great Mother’s essence. Despite the differences in our forms, we are all connected by life.

Only the Goddess of Light, one of the current gods, is not a child of the Great Mother. After stealing the Great Mother’s ability to conceive, the God of Light, Nagali, created a companion and gave her the ability to conceive. The gods changed their position and willingly became followers of the Light Gods after realizing that the couple had been given the valuable ability to conceive.

Only the three Dark Gods turned to Ludnir because they were unhappy with what the God of Light had done. The gods of the Dark were cut off and unable to engage in any kind of competition with those of the Light. But the latter could only live alongside the former because they lacked the ability to destroy them.

Fragna, the Goddess of Procreation and Family was given the ability to conceive after the Goddess of Light took charge of the entire situation, transforming her into the Goddess of Fertility. The Great Mother could only rely on the priestesses who were infused with her blood to work with mortals to conceive mortals using the blood of the gods after that, as she had little more fertility power.

The north is still ruled by their descendants, the ancient heroes who carved out a new world in the snow and ice. The Great Mother’s bloodline has been severed since then, and her priestess is no longer able to bear children because her ability to give birth has been totally depleted.” Cecilion answered Alice’s questions and provided a synopsis of the gods’ past.

She was intrigued because she had never heard of these things before.

When He was done talking, He addressed her, “You might see the Holy Book of Light or hear similar tales from others in the future. The stories will evoke different emotions in people because the storytellers are in different positions. You need eyes that can see through the fog to tell what is right and wrong.”

With her eyes closed, she felt his touch and heard him say, “I bless you in the name of Logos, may you see through the fog and not be confused.”

Alice felt a sudden clarity in her initially sleepy mind, as if something shiny had flown into her eyes.

The scene before her cleared as she opened her eyes. Because of the gods’ presence, she could even see the air around her changing shape, hazily displaying a humanoid outline.

Her face was lightly caressed by Cecilion, “I have given you the strength to surpass ordinary people before; today I bless you again to help you see through the fog; I will give you all the blessings, you must not let me down, and throw your life away easily.”

She gave a small nod as she felt him grasp her hand and place his fingers on her covenant ring.

Almost unbearably hot, the ring briefly threatened to burn her, but it eventually cooled and settled peacefully on her finger as though nothing had happened.

She could tell He was very upset about the ring’s presence, even though He didn’t say what He was doing.

She wouldn’t have wanted to wear such a ring if she had the option. However, she had no chance of refusing because she was too unimportant in Earl Rachel’s presence.

She glanced down at the ring, unsure if she was consoling herself or him, “The ring will no longer be there when you awaken. I will make every effort to ensure that.”

As soon as she finished speaking, she felt a loving hand on her head, caressing her forehead.

Leaning in to feel his chest, she discovered that his temperature was remarkably comparable to that of humans.

She inhaled deeply as she felt the weariness and tension of a long period of time gone.

She asked, closing her eyes, “I lost my chainmail, can you give me a hint?”

“What is meant to be yours will not be lost,” Cecilion said, answering such questions in riddles every time. “If you are meant to be its master, it will return to your side.”

Alice wanted to ask him if she was the rightful owner of the chainmail.

Apart from her greatsword, it was the best thing she had ever owned, and it was causing her heart to break.

He might have sensed her loss and reassured her, “You’ll have better armor than that in the future, as much as you want.”

“But that was given to me by Lord Etienne.”

Cecilion’s tone softened slightly when He heard her bring up Etienne, “As a god, I probably shouldn’t meddle in your social life, but I have to warn you against becoming too close to the temple priest. You can’t see him again now that you’ve formally accepted me as your believer.”

“Why?

“Through their eyes, the God of Light can see the outside world, and they have all long since vowed to dedicate everything to him. The God of Light will do everything in his power to murder you if he discovers that you have accepted me as a believer.”