There Is No Paradise Where You Escaped - Chapter 44

It had already been four days since they had departed from Rodinia. With the curtains open, dark clouds were gradually gathering outside the window, and soon, a few raindrops struck the windowpane. Before long, the sound of pouring rain filled the carriage like a lullaby.

Charlotte, exhausted from leaving home and traveling through unfamiliar places, began to nod off, unable to resist the soothing sound of the rain. 

Vivianne, too, was trapped by the same fatigue. Though she had grown accustomed to Edwin’s blatant stares over the past few days, they still prickled her nerves, making it impossible to surrender to her heavy eyelids. If she fell asleep, she would have to endure Edwin’s gaze in a defenseless state. That thought alone made her shake her head forcefully, trying to drive away her drowsiness.

Seeing Charlotte repeatedly drop her head, straining her neck, Vivianne offered her shoulder. Once Charlotte’s small head found a comfortable position, she quickly sank into a deep sleep. The soft, childlike sound of her breathing was a small comfort—a reminder that Vivianne wasn’t truly alone with Edwin in this cramped, damp space.

Vivianne glanced at Edwin. His sharp, unblinking eyes were fixed intently on her. Vivianne, who didn’t want to talk to him, lowered her head and picked at the frayed skin around her nails. Once her fingers felt smooth, she rubbed the tips meaninglessly as she endured the rain.

“I heard you asked Roarke about me.”

Vivianne’s head snapped up. She hadn’t expected him to speak first, let alone bring this up. She had never told Roarke to keep it a secret, nor had she assumed he would, but for some reason, she still felt a twinge of betrayal. She had no particular connection to Roarke, yet her empathy for his past had created that sense of betrayal.

“Yes…”

“What made you so curious?”

“Pardon?”

“Why were you so curious about my unmarried status that you had to ask Roarke?”

Vivianne hesitated, chewing on her lip as she searched for an answer. Speaking honestly was risky, especially with Charlotte sleeping right beside her. She stole a glance at the girl, fast asleep, before lowering her voice.

“… I was just curious. Your looks, status, wealth—everything about you is perfect. I figured the young ladies of Neway must have been terribly anxious about you delaying marriage.”

I should’ve omitted the part about his looks. She regretted it instantly, but the words had already escaped her lips.

“My status and wealth are perfect? Even my looks?”

Vivianne had hoped that keeping a straight face would prevent him from teasing her, but he seized the opportunity, twisting her words into playful mischief. It was embarrassing, but she refused to show it.

The moment she reacted would be the moment she fell into the palm of his hand.

“Though, of course, you are not to Prestonian tastes. The ladies of Preston, no matter how handsome a gentleman may be, tend to avoid those with a cold demeanor.”

Edwin’s lips curled into a deeper smile. Only after seeing that smirk did Vivianne realize, belatedly, that she shouldn’t have said the word handsome again.

Still, she showed no sign of regret and was ready for any of his antics.

“Then, why is Miss Aveline still unmarried?”

As if bored with games, he volleyed a question she had dreaded. He knew exactly where to strike.

“… Well, my family’s standing in Preston wasn’t very good, so most of my suitors were openly after my inheritance. I kept delaying, and before I knew it, I had missed my chance.”

The reason she left many things unsaid was that she had already realized his question was not about Mayr.

“I intended to marry as soon as I arrived in Neway, but that wasn’t easy either. So, I regret it.”

She was certain that if Edwin had a loving wife and beloved children, his path of vengeance would have taken a different course. He wouldn’t have felt any desire toward her, of all people. He wouldn’t have spent all these years consumed by immense hatred and revenge. And if she had a husband, she wouldn’t be sitting here like this with Edwin.

Or would she?

The thought that it might be a blessing to lack a loving husband or children struck her only after reading his expression.

“Do you think your situation would have been different if you had a husband?”

“…”

“No. If you had a husband, I would have killed him first. I would have torn you away from the children you love so dearly. And then, just like this… we would be sitting face to face again.”

“You speak of killing so easily.”

Vivianne narrowed her eyes, her voice laced with thorns. Their exchanges were a constant duel, yet neither seemed to tire of it.

“That’s what happens when you live on the edge of life and death for too long.”

“Not everyone becomes like you, Your Grace.”

“You sound just like someone else I know.”

“Who, exactly?”

“There’s a tailor in town. But soon, he’ll have a hole in his forehead and die, so, Miss Aveline, you don’t need to concern yourself with him.”

“You—!” Vivianne’s entire body trembled with rage.

She nearly raised her voice, but she had to swallow it down, scrambling to steady Charlotte as she slipped from her shoulder.

Meanwhile, Edwin’s lips curled into a chilling smirk, savoring her pain with glacial detachment. His coldest, most frigid expression lingered as he watched her. Each breath Vivianne exhaled seethed with fury, a reminder of the simple fact that no matter what, she could not escape him.

“… Then answer me, Your Grace. Why haven’t you taken a duchess?”

Vivianne steered the conversation back to him, but he only smiled faintly without answering. His deep blue eyes, submerged in silence, simply gazed at her through the rain.

The carriage rattled violently, and the rain drummed softly against its surface. It reminded her of that cold spring night when he had strangled her. Yet, unlike that time, the air here was lighter—it didn’t push her into terror.

Perhaps it was the warmth and weight resting against her shoulder. The gentle sound of breathing beside her. The presence that diluted the suffocating tension inside the carriage.

“Would you like to take on the role, Miss Aveline?”

His question blended with the sound of the rain, but it was not the question she had expected. With lingering anger in her eyes, Vivianne frowned in confusion.

“Take what role?”

“Duchess of Baytness.”

His deep blue eyes were unmistakably serious, his expression perfectly befitting the Duke of Baytness. It was the same face he had worn when joking about her being “too bony to eat.”

“You take your jokes too far.”

Vivianne bit the inside of her cheek and firmly drew a line. Compared to the time she had foolishly fallen for his joke about putting her on the dining table, this was nothing. If he thought she would fall for it again, that was nothing but delusion and arrogance.

“You have no intention?”

“You said you would keep your promise. Asking someone you’re going to kill to become your duchess—isn’t that just too much? Do you not realize how absurd that is?”

“Hm. I wouldn’t know.”

“Then I suppose Your Grace would have no qualms about threatening even your beloved wife with death. If that is what it means to be the Duchess of Baytness, no lady in any country would ever want the title.”

Though Vivianne spoke with grave seriousness, Edwin merely let out a soft, amused laugh. His lack of seriousness at a time like this only provoked her further.

What on earth had Mr. Shaffer seen in this man to think so highly of him?

Then again, when Edwin had first arrived at the manor, she, too, had spoken highly of him, saying he was someone worth learning from. If even she and Mr. Shaffer had been deceived by his mask, how many others had fallen for it as well? The thought made her sympathize with those nameless people.

“Then you…”

His lips had just begun to part when they closed again. Uncharacteristically, he stopped mid-sentence.

The more he did this, the more curious Vivianne became. She stared intently into his eyes, waiting, but he never satisfied her curiosity.

Their conversation came to a halt because, for the first time, he turned his gaze away from Vivianne and looked out the window. For the first time, she was free from his gaze.

Since Edwin was looking outside, she couldn’t see what he saw. Instead, Vivianne quietly watched him as he gazed out the window—because, at that moment, she had nowhere else to look.

 ────── ✾ ──────

The shepherd boy, watching over his sheep, chewed on a blade of grass as he tossed a stone at a slender tree trunk in the distance. Among the three trees clustered together, he aimed for the one in the middle, throwing each stone with careful concentration. Meanwhile, the sheep stayed nearby, diligently filling their bellies without wandering too far.

When he grew bored of hitting the tree trunk, the boy let out a sigh and turned his gaze toward Rottermond Castle, visible beyond the hill.

The lord of the manor would return before long, and Rottermond—now savoring unexpected prosperity—was poised to repay the kindness and generosity of the lord and his mother.

Tenant farmers, unprompted, had brought tributes of food and rare fruits to the castle.

The boy, knowing that his own family had decided to contribute two sheep, gathered his flock and headed toward the castle. He thought the crowd would have thinned by now, given the late hour, but he was wrong. The line was still long. Sighing in frustration, he spat on the ground and waited impatiently for his turn.

When it was his turn, he presented the two sheep. While the scribe recorded his name and contribution, the Baroness Baytness, the lord’s mother, personally expressed her gratitude. She was a middle-aged woman with a calm, elegant demeanor. Her gentle smile made it seem as if she had spent her entire life in kindness, as if she had never harbored an unkind thought.

The shepherd boy couldn’t take his eyes off her—until the scribe caught him staring and smacked him in the head.

“That’s enough,” the Baroness interjected gently, stopping the scribe. Then, with a warm smile, she patted the boy’s head where he had been struck.

“Little one, when you return home, be sure to thank your mother for me.”

The shepherd boy blushed, turned on his heel, and ran off without looking back.

However, the Baroness, instead of showing any embarrassment, returned to her seat with a serene smile.

“Children these days have no fear,” Susanna murmured, waving at the boy as he disappeared into the distance. “Every time I feel the world changing, I am reminded of my age.”

She sighed before continuing.

“Do you know what makes me feel even more anxious?”

Donnelly already knew Susanna’s concerns. He understood exactly what thoughts had crossed her mind as she watched the young shepherd. But he didn’t answer—because he knew her question was meant as a monologue.

“That I might die before I ever meet my grandchildren.”

Once the shepherd was completely out of sight, Susanna let out a deep, weary sigh.

“Donnelly, has there been any more news from Humphrey? Ever since he delivered that shocking piece of information, I feel like I’ve been sitting on a bed of thorns. And yet, there’s been no word at all. I’m going mad from the waiting. I can’t trust Abernathy because he’s allied with Eddie, so who am I supposed to rely on?”

“I don’t think you need to worry, my lady. The master is a wise man. He wouldn’t keep someone by his side who might tarnish his reputation.”

“If I didn’t know men, I’d agree with you—but I know them too well. Men sometimes make the wrong choices. My husband was a smart man, but he made the wrong choice and left without ever receiving his wife’s goodbye.”

Susanna’s wrinkles deepened around her eyes. Though the people gathered in front of the castle still formed a long, bustling line, praising her and bowing their heads, her mind was elsewhere, even as she accepted their greetings.

“Why, of all people, does it have to be Aveline? Donnelly, what do you think? Why her—of all the mistakes he could’ve made?”

Her lament gradually shifted into worry.

“If Humphrey returns from Farrington soon, I’ll give him a piece of my mind.”

That worry then morphed into quiet anger.

“He thinks he can take a duchess? And that person is Aveline? Ha! Humphrey has truly, honestly… I will give him a severe scolding.”

Resolute in her decision, Susanna clutched her chest in frustration and let out a heavy sigh. The clueless tenant farmers cheered at her every slight movement, and in response to their enthusiasm, Susanna raised her hand and waved.