There Is No Paradise Where You Escaped - Chapter 46

Charlotte, who had been meticulously counting the days, was devastated to realize that tonight marked the third night. She had only one reason for wanting to attend the royal event: it was the only place where she could officially be paired with Edwin and bask in the envy of the noble ladies.

Standing in the spotlight alongside the man she loved made her feel that no title or wealth could compare.

However, Susanna’s presence shattered that dream completely. Charlotte’s love for Edwin was strong, but her fear of Susanna was far greater.

If only Susanna hadn’t sent Edwin a letter asking him to accompany her, Charlotte would never have had to set foot in this dreadful manor. At least she was able to avoid becoming the direct target of Susanna’s hostility, thanks to Vivianne, who felt out of place here, and the fact that Susanna wasn’t particularly fond of Vivianne either.

Charlotte recalled the first time she had held Baron Baytness’s hand and entered his manor. Her mother had given birth to an illegitimate daughter without a husband and, having drowned herself in alcohol, eventually fell ill.

Although Charlotte knew her mother’s death was imminent, her three-year-old self could not fully grasp the depths of sorrow that death brings.

A few days before her mother passed, the Baron had visited their shabby, lockless rented room. Even now, Charlotte couldn’t forget the shadow of the man standing with the sunlight pouring in behind him. Though her mother seemed like she was on the brink of death, she still cried tears of joy.

The last image Charlotte had of her mother was her tear-streaked face as she rasped in a hoarse voice, telling Charlotte to go outside and play. When the sun had set and she returned home, her mother had already passed away in the Baron’s arms.

“Child, I’ll be your guardian from now on. So come with me. Let’s get you cleaned up, feed you delicious food, and dress you in pretty clothes.”

Her mother’s death changed everything. A guardian—a concept she didn’t fully understand—had appeared in her life. She no longer slept on a rat-infested bed. When it rained, water didn’t leak through the ceiling anymore. But—

“Get that wretched thing out of my sight immediately!”

“I’ll keep an eye on you, monster. I’ll see what kind of soulless beast you are.”

“You ruined everything! You and that child—you killed my baby!”

Disheveled hair cascading down, unfocused eyes—the Baroness bared her teeth and howled in fury, looking as wretched as Charlotte’s mother had in her final days. The only difference was that while her mother had been frail and weak, the Baroness raged like a half-mad beast.

Charlotte feared her. The Baroness had never physically harmed her, but she cursed her daily, hurled venomous words, glared at her with bloodshot eyes, and growled with such fury that Charlotte lived in constant terror of being devoured.

Yet, little by little, the Baroness’s madness began to subside after a milk delivery boy started coming to the house. Charlotte vaguely remembered that boy—the one with dirt on his face but eyes that shone a brilliant blue.

Soon enough, the Baron and Baroness began arguing daily over adopting him. Whenever they fought, Charlotte would press her ear to the door, eavesdropping on their conversations. In the end, when the Baron finally surrendered, Charlotte was overjoyed. She believed that if that boy lived with them, the air of death suffocating the manor would be cleared by his bright blue presence.

And she was right. With his new name, Edwin Baytness, Susanna’s illness vanished as if it had never existed.

Susanna started washing herself, changing her clothes, and doing her hair every day. Instead of locking herself in her room and crying, she woke up early each morning to prepare breakfast. Just like that, she became an ordinary mother.

Afterward, Susanna no longer lashed out or openly hurled accusations, but to Charlotte, she was already imprinted as a figure of fear. Being ignored was a relief; being avoided was something she was even grateful for. Thus, the fragile peace lasted—at least until the Baron’s death in Rottermond.

“She’s a demon! Don’t let yourself be bewitched by her, too.”

“Are you really going to follow that man’s dying wish? Does that mean you’ll go through with that decision as well?”

“She’s useless. Don’t shackle your life over someone like that.”

Hearing that scornful rage after so long resurfaced the old fears of her childhood. After the Baron’s death, Susanna and Edwin frequently fought over his will.

It was always Susanna’s one-sided fury, but Edwin stood by his decision, becoming Charlotte’s guardian while also leaving Rottermond for business.

Why summon me here if she hates and loathes me so much? Charlotte wondered.

Whatever Susanna’s true intentions were, meeting her—this person who made her heart pound with anxiety—was the last thing Charlotte wanted.

Just two more days. No, just one more day. Charlotte repeated the thought over and over to comfort herself.

As she was about to blow out the candle and sleep, a knock sounded at the door. Checking the time, she cautiously stepped out of bed and opened it.

Standing there, smiling brightly, was Vivianne.

Charlotte’s eyes widened in surprise. Vivianne, who had come so late at night, quietly stepped into the room, carrying a tray with two sandwiches and two glasses of juice.

“… Miss Aveline, what are you doing here?”

Vivianne took a seat at the table, gesturing for Charlotte to join her with an innocent smile. Bewildered, Charlotte sat down, staring at the sandwich Vivianne handed her.

“Let’s have a late-night snack together.”

“What? At this hour?”

“I suddenly got really hungry. And eating alone is boring. Besides, Miss Windler, you haven’t been eating properly lately. I’ve seen it. You barely touch your food. You hardly ate anything at dinner tonight, right?”

Vivianne pressed the sandwich into Charlotte’s hands, and the lingering warmth on it made tears well up in her eyes.

After the Baron passed, Edwin had been the only one who remained by her side, insisting on becoming her guardian despite Susanna’s fierce opposition. She had trusted him the most, relied on him, and loved him. Yet, in the end, he had cast her out of the manor without protection.

And it was Vivianne, whom Charlotte had believed had stolen Edwin away from her, who rushed to her upon hearing the news. It was also Vivianne who worried for her while she suffered under Susanna’s torment, simply counting down the days until she could leave.

In all her life, Charlotte had never known what it was like to be loved. Her mother was always drowning in alcohol, and in the Baron’s household, she had lived under constant scrutiny. Edwin claimed he cared for her, but she had never truly felt his sincerity.

He merely fulfilled his duty. Charlotte never once encountered genuine affection from his heart.

And yet, she had loved him.

Charlotte Windler, who had never been loved, loved him anyway.

“Hurry up and eat.”

“… Thank you.” 

The person she had thought the worst of, the one she had spoken of most harshly, was the very one who extended warmth to her. The world was truly full of contradictions.

Charlotte thought she could bury her emotions with each bite of the sandwich. But the sweetness flooding her mouth only stirred her heart even more.

Vivianne handed her a drink. Not wanting to be caught with tears in her eyes, Charlotte hastily gulped down the cold beverage.

Vivianne smiled, satisfied. It was a bright, radiant smile, like a ray of warm winter sunlight. Just seeing it calmed Charlotte’s turbulent emotions.

Instead, a sense of gratitude toward Vivianne and the feeling of having found someone to share her heart with led her into a space that felt warm and safe.

“You can… call me Charlotte.”

She knew it was impulsive, but she didn’t think she would regret it. It was only a moment of embarrassment. But when she saw Vivianne’s face light up in delight, even that feeling faded quickly.

“Shall I, Charlotte? Then you should call me Vivianne, too.”

As joyful as Vivianne’s face was, an equally bright smile spread across Charlotte’s lips.

Charlotte was certain—never before, and never again, would a sandwich taste this good.

────── ✾ ──────

The fireplace in the second-floor living room blazed fiercely, its flames radiating intense heat. It was still too early in the season to light a fire, so Edwin sat a little distance away, reading a book, while Susanna, wrapped tightly in a shawl, gazed into the flames.

Susanna, always sensitive to the cold, needed a fire even when others found the temperature pleasant. Still, it wasn’t enough; she bundled herself tighter, as if to crush the chill lingering in her bones.

Seemingly dissatisfied, Susanna glanced back at Edwin and grumbled.

“You finally return after so long, and yet you spend all day buried in books?”

“I’ve already checked everything regarding the territory and its affairs. Since you handle things so meticulously, there’s nothing left for me to review.”

Susanna clicked her tongue.

Her second son, Edwin, was hardly affectionate, and he had a knack for making her feel sad and disappointed. But she consoled herself, thinking that was just part of his charm.

“I still thought you’d at least say something to me first. But what does it change now? Anyway, Eddie, do you know what people will say when they see you dragging that extra burden around?”

“You were the one who told me to bring Aveline.”

“But you were the one who put Aveline’s name on the royal event’s guest list before that… I happened to invite the Danvers couple recently, and they mentioned you.”

Abandoning her criticisms of Aveline, Susanna changed the subject.

“I’m sure they made some obvious comments.”

“Yes, indeed. You really need to get married now. Windler is already engaged, so that’s settled. But what about Aveline? Do you plan to keep her at that manor even after you’re married, just because of her unfortunate circumstances? Eddie, that’s why Rodinia should be your newlywed home, and Aveline should stay in Rottermond. That would be best for her as well.”

After a long attempt at persuasion, Edwin finally closed his book.

He stared at the fire from afar, his gaze reflecting the flickering flames.

“Lady Danvers mentioned arranging a match. It’s with the second daughter of her cousin, the Count of Chadwick. Not long ago—well, actually, it’s been quite some time—Miss Chadwick visited Rottermond with her aunt. She was quite a fine lady. So why not take this seriously this time? She’ll be attending the royal event as well, so take the opportunity to meet her and spend some time together.”

Susanna was trying to persuade Edwin, but his expression remained unreadable. Then, as if making up his mind, Edwin smiled and looked at her.

“So that’s why you’re attending the royal event this time?”

“That’s a misunderstanding. The Queen personally sent an invitation, so I have to go.”

“And the Queen’s influence is behind this matchmaking as well?”

“…” 

Realizing there was no fooling her perceptive son, Susanna pressed her lips together. When her gentle persuasion failed, she let her frustration spill out.

“Anyway, it’s time for you to marry. Eddie, at your age, you should already have three—no, four—children by now. At this rate, I won’t even get to see my grandchildren before I follow your father to the grave. Are you really going to leave your mother all alone like this?”

“You’re still young, so why not find a lover instead?”

“Eddie!”

Three days.

It had been three days since Vivianne Aveline had vanished without fulfilling her duties.

Edwin had tolerated her absence, wanting to respect whatever reasons she had.

On the first night after arriving in Rottermond, Vivianne had followed him upstairs after dinner. She had a knack for startling people with her unpredictable behavior. As soon as their eyes met, she closed the distance and suddenly spilled everything out.

“…Could you please not act that way in front of others? I won’t say anything if you do it in front of me, but at least, please don’t express yourself like that in front of Miss Windler or the Baroness.”

“The whole ‘I have no choice, so they should ask you instead’ thing—please, if you must say these things, only say them when we’re alone.”

And then, Vivianne drove in the final nail.

“I’m begging you. I’m pleading with you, Your Grace. If you do it again, I’ll be so embarrassed I could die. So this is the same as me begging you to spare me.”

With her cheeks flushed, she turned and left. After that, Edwin hardly saw her anymore.

Now, the time he had spent holding back crumbled—all because of his mother.

She had forced him to recall the face he had tried to bury deep in his mind, bringing it back to the surface.

Edwin checked the time.

Just past nine o’clock.

      Is Vivianne asleep?

The question crossed his mind, but he wanted to confirm it for himself.

Asleep or awake—whatever the case, he needed to see for himself.

“I’ll take my leave now. See you tomorrow, Mother.”

As Edwin stood up, Susanna watched him go with a deeply disappointed expression. Her sigh melted into the crackling flames.