There Is No Paradise Where You Escaped - Chapter 48

Susanna had sent Donnelly out, but he did not return for a long time. Pulling her shawl tightly around her shoulders, she stared blankly at the empty space.

Susanna had sent Donnelly to follow Edwin, who had left abruptly earlier, but even after thirty minutes, there was no news. Anxiously, she bit her index finger. The grandfather clock struck the hour with a grand chime.

Just then, Donnelly appeared, but the shadow on his face kept Susanna from feeling relieved. Sensing that something had gone wrong, she leaned in as Donnelly lowered his voice and whispered.

Upon hearing where Edwin had rushed off to and how long he had stayed there, Susanna pressed her forehead and let out a sigh that was almost a sob.

“Ah. Ah.” 

Susanna couldn’t find the words, only letting out short lamentations.

“D-Did you hear what the two of them talked about?”

“Miss Aveline’s maid was guarding the door, so I couldn’t get close.”

“S-She was guarding the door? Ha!”

Susanna, flabbergasted, put her hand on her chest.

What Edwin had shown was not love. If it hadn’t looked like love to her eyes, it wouldn’t feel like love to Vivianne’s either.

And yet, in the dead of night, he had suddenly jumped up and rushed to Vivianne? And her maid had been guarding the door? Had she misread the situation?

If they truly loved each other, why drag things out when marriage was an option? And if it wasn’t love, then why the secretive late-night meeting, hidden from prying eyes? If he had been trying to conceal his feelings, he wouldn’t have been so bold in a place as scrutinized as Rottermond.

Then what exactly were the two of them?

Many questions swarmed in Susanna’s mind. Unable to find an answer to any of them, she got up from her seat and opened the window. The cool breeze brushed against her, and she closed her eyes, feeling the intangible wind.

“My lady, you’ll catch a cold if you do that.”

“If that is fate, then so be it.”

Even an enemy would have to admit that Vivianne’s beauty was enough to turn heads. The fact that she had remained unmarried until now was almost a miracle. To have resisted the temptations of countless men and come this far—perhaps this future had been inevitable from the start.

“Donnelly, what should I really do? What advice can I even give Edwin? No… should I reprimand him? I truly don’t know. Our Eddie, who could never love Aveline—what is he thinking about her?”

A long time ago, a civil war broke out in Preston. The downfall of a once-dominant noble family stirred public debate even in Neway, but as the years passed, the memory of it faded from people’s minds.

It had been pure coincidence. A visiting relative from Preston had shown her a wanted poster featuring Sayer Raven, the youngest son of the Raven family.

“If we turn this kid in, the bounty is a whopping 30,000 Mori, sister. They say he fled to Neway, or maybe he’s hiding somewhere in Preston.”

“You can tell just how much the King of Preston fears the Ravens just by looking at this bounty.”

“Placing a bounty on a child who has already lost everything… Most people in Preston believe that the youngest Raven is already dead.”

Seeing Sayer Raven’s face on the flyer, Susanna was certain. The boy who had been scorned as a lowly orphan from the Port of Olren—her son. The boy who had absorbed noble etiquette books at an astonishing speed—her proud son.

He was Sayer Raven.

“By the way, I don’t see my nephew. The one you adopted.”

Susanna hastily sent a servant to hide Edwin with another relative. Even though she caused a stir by pretending it had been a mistake and throwing the wanted poster into the fire, she calmly smiled and apologized.

It had been the Avelines who had led the charge to wipe out the Raven family of Preston, supporting Mayr’s rise to the throne. Because of them, the Ravens vanished from the world. The fact that a house with such a long and revered history could collapse so utterly struck fear into nobles across the land.

That’s what the Avelines were like.

The very Avelines who had torn out a great family by its roots and devoured it whole.

Susanna thought of what advice she could give Edwin, the boy who had stepped into the flames of hell himself.

If only he hadn’t been deceived by that beauty—so breathtaking it could make a man forget everything. If only he hadn’t swallowed that poison. If she listed a hundred, even a thousand examples of the doom such a choice would bring, would he stop?

But if it was love—if he truly loved her enough to overcome every obstacle—then yes, perhaps that too was fate.

“I’d rather it be love. At least then, he could bury the past he could never forget and move toward happiness.”

Hot tears welled in Susanna’s eyes.

She wished for only one thing: her beloved son’s happiness.

Susanna’s earnest wish was for him to break free from the shackles of his painful memories.

────── ✾ ──────

Vivianne, unable to sleep, tossed and turned countless times. The incident from just a few hours ago lingered in her mind, refusing to let go.

The scent Edwin carried as he clung to her like a child. The strands of his hair that had been brushed against her chin. The weight of him pressing down on her, the lingering sting in her palm, the hands that had wiped away her tears, and the expression on his face.

She couldn’t escape any of it.

“And, Vivianne…”

Before leaving the room, Edwin had stopped and turned back.

When he touched his bruised chin, she froze, a strange shiver running through her.

“When you hit someone, you should hit them hard enough to make them feel the pain. What you did was nothing more than a touch.”

Leaving behind that bloody advice, he grinned and walked out.

To erase the sensation, Vivianne closed her eyes, but in the darkness, Edwin’s face remained vivid. Even when she opened them, nothing changed. Every trace of his body against hers lingered on her skin.

In the end, Vivianne rose from her bed and lit a candle. Thankfully, as the room brightened, his image in her mind began to blur. Yet, the echo in her heart did not fade.

What he had left behind was more than just fear—it was something carved deep inside her, etched into her very soul.

“What a jerk.”

This was the same man who had, without hesitation, threatened to kill her, then had the audacity to utter those terrifying words: that she should become his duchess.

Such a lighthearted joke made it easy for him to desire a woman he didn’t love, to claim that he could have her whenever he wanted.

Edwin had left behind a deep, bruising darkness.

And now, she understood why he had never married—or rather, why he could not.

If women were nothing more than objects to him, he would have been a notorious womanizer, indifferent to who the woman was. Then, the well-bred ladies of Neway would have avoided him the moment they saw through him.

She would never again wonder why he remained unmarried, nor would she ask anyone else that question.

As the accusations piled up in her mind, her memories of him slowly faded. Even her heart, which had been pounding wildly, finally began to settle.

Eventually, drowsiness took over. Vivianne blew out the candle and crawled back into bed.

But fate had not finished its cruel games.

The moment she closed her eyes, Edwin’s face became crystal clear in her mind once again.

Vivianne’s eyes snapped open.

It was useless.

No matter what she did, he wouldn’t disappear.

That man—that heartless, wicked man—was etched into her mind, refusing to go away.

────── ✾ ──────

Unlike Rodinia Castle, Rottermond did not have a splendid garden. Instead, the rolling hills that met the blue sky and the lush, well-landscaped forest paths were Rottermond’s great pride.

The forest, in particular, was a source of admiration—bathed in abundant sunlight, dotted with fountains, and inhabited by tame, friendly birds, along with adorable rabbits and deer. Guests of Rottermond Manor never failed to praise this fairy-tale-like scenery, where even the animals seemed as if they had been carefully trained to enhance its charm.

Today’s luncheon was filled with Susanna’s boasts about Rottermond. Since Edwin and Charlotte were already familiar with the territory, her lavish descriptions of the forest seemed aimed squarely at Vivianne.

Vivianne responded with genuine curiosity. She had always loved nature, and the descriptions of Rottermond’s forest paths piqued her interest.

Normally, she would have eagerly joined in, swept up in the Baroness’s enthusiasm. But her thoughts kept drifting back to Edwin, making her hesitant to speak.

What if someone had seen what happened yesterday?

Sophie had sworn that no one had—but this was Rottermond, not Rodinia.

“So, since we’re on the subject, I was thinking—why don’t we have a private little gathering, just us ladies? What do you think, Miss Aveline?”

Susanna’s question was pointedly directed at Vivianne.

For a split second, her heart plummeted. Vivianne barely managed to collect herself before glancing at Edwin and offering a quiet smile.

“That sounds lovely, madam.”

“We’ll have a simple tea time, then visit the gallery together. You seemed quite interested in it, after all. Oh, and Windler—would that be all right with you?”

Susanna’s voice held a friendly tone that Charlotte wasn’t used to. Struggling to mask her awkwardness, Charlotte studied Susanna’s expression warily.

When Vivianne gave her a reassuring smile, a brief sense of relief washed over her. But spending time with Susanna still made her uncomfortable.

“Ah… Actually, I’m not feeling very well…”

“Oh my, is that so? What a shame. Well, I suppose it can’t be helped.”

Susanna appeared sympathetic, but her voice carried no real sincerity.

Still, Charlotte felt relieved—at least Susanna’s attention had quickly shifted away from her.

“Looks like I’ve unintentionally asked Miss Aveline out on a date. What do you say? Will you accept?”

“Ah, yes. Of course.”

Though Vivianne regretted that Charlotte wouldn’t be joining them, she was reassured to see Charlotte looking more at ease.

With everything going just as she had hoped, Susanna smiled in satisfaction before shifting her gaze to Edwin.

Edwin remained composed, calmly chewing and swallowing his steak before looking up at Vivianne.

Vivianne had tried to ignore him, but when his piercing gaze finally turned away, she risked a brief glance in his direction.

Simply observing them wasn’t enough to define their relationship. They needed to talk. A conversation was necessary.

And rather than trying to pry the truth from her elusive son, Susanna knew it would be much easier to get answers from Vivianne instead.

────── ✾ ──────

With Susanna and Vivianne absent, the manor felt eerily quiet. The empty halls were so silent they seemed to mirror the loneliness in Charlotte’s heart. And yet, the sandwich she had eaten the night before somehow made even the silence feel warm and comforting.

As her maid placed a hat on her head, Charlotte instructed her to switch it for the blue one adorned with a feather.

Satisfied with her reflection in the mirror, thanks to Vivianne’s gift, Charlotte left her room and freely explored the manor in Susanna’s absence.

It had been a while since her last visit, and some things had changed. Charlotte spent time trying to spot the differences as if playing a “spot the difference” game.

It wasn’t until she unexpectedly ran into Edwin in the corridor that she realized just how absorbed she had been in her little game.

When their eyes met, her face lit up, and she smiled brightly as she approached him.

“Where are you going?” 

“To the library. What about you?”

“I was just wandering around. If it’s all right with you, may I join you in the library? I’d like to read a book I used to enjoy.”

“Of course.” 

As Charlotte smiled warmly and stood beside Edwin, he suddenly spoke.

“Charlotte.” 

The unexpected call made her blink in surprise and look up at him.

But Edwin said nothing, his gaze lingering above her head. Charlotte raised a hand to touch her hat, realizing the feather was swaying gently.

“Your Grace?”

When she broke his focus, Edwin’s gaze finally dropped to meet hers.

“What is it?”

“That.” 

He lightly gestured to Charlotte’s head.

“Sell it to me.” 

Charlotte had heard those words before. Not long ago, in the carriage, he had also expressed interest in the hat, even with Vivianne sitting right beside them. At the time, she thought it was just an unusual joke, but now it seemed like it was no joke at all.

“… This was a gift.”

“I know.”

“But you want me to sell it to you?”

“I’ll pay whatever price you name.”

“But what will you use it for? It doesn’t seem like something you need.”

“For decoration.”

“For decoration?”

His shameless answer pulled Charlotte deeper into a whirlpool of confusion. She tilted her head, removed the hat, and studied it: elegant yet subtly extravagant, much like Vivianne.

The delicate feather stood out, making it look even more refined, and the fabric was of exceptional quality.

Charlotte had liked it from the start.

Gift or not, it was a piece she genuinely cherished.

“But, Your Grace, this is…”

“If money doesn’t tempt you, name something else you want.”

Charlotte couldn’t simply give away Vivianne’s gift.

But it was a request from a man who still occupied her heart, and yet it was also a matter of loyalty to Vivianne.

“I want your hat, and you can have something of mine in return. Or, if you prefer, a favor of your choosing.”

Edwin knew exactly how to shake Charlotte’s resolve. Her speechless, closed lips were proof.

“So? Does this sound like a fair trade to you?”

Temptation swirled around her. When Charlotte looked down at the hat again, Vivianne’s face clearly surfaced in her mind—the same Vivianne who had given her a present despite Charlotte’s coldness toward her.

And then, before her stood Edwin, his face adorned with a smile that made her heart tremble.

A man she still loved…

… but could never reach.