There Is No Paradise Where You Escaped - Chapter 65

Vivianne thought it was time to stop bluffing and be honest.

She knew she wasn’t capable of stopping the marriage just to avoid the shame of being called a mistress. So, the simplest and only solution was to win over Sarah Chadwick by preserving her dignity, thus quelling the rumors.

As always, she entered the party with Alice by her side.

Vivianne searched for Sarah Chadwick first, but Alice had someone else in mind.

Just then, Edwin appeared, and Vivianne turned her attention to him. Alice handed her a glass of champagne and teased her, urging her to smile.

In the crowd, she spotted Sarah Chadwick and Lady Danvers, but before she could reach them, she was pulled in the opposite direction.

It hadn’t even been a few minutes since Edwin had appeared.

What snapped Vivianne back to her senses were the piercing blue eyes that met hers. Below them, the silver ornament on an ascot tie caught the light—it was clearly meant to cover a bruise.

A wave of guilt hit her, and she quickly looked away from his persistent gaze.

“May I greet the Duke and Mr. Thomas?”

“Oh, Lady Thurston. It’s been a while.”

The man next to Edwin was Thomas, one of the key figures of the nouveau riche, like Edwin.

Though he hadn’t been granted a title, he was a well-known self-made man and a regular guest among the nobility.

“I heard you arrived today. And already monopolizing the Duke, I see?”

“Well, he is the one paving the way to transport my goods. Of course, I had to monopolize him first.”

Alice and Thomas shared a laugh, while Edwin gave a polite smile and took a sip of champagne. Vivianne, who had no interest in the gathering, remained focused on locating Sarah Chadwick.

Sarah was still in the same spot.

Vivianne’s growing impatience left her throat parched—she needed something to moisten it. Without thinking, she brought the champagne glass to her lips. A sweet scent tickled her nose. Realizing it was alcohol and not water, she lowered her arm again.

“By the way, do you know how surprised I was by the Duke’s taste? You could search the entire palace and not find a lady more beautifully and luxuriously adorned than Miss Aveline.”

Alice intentionally dragged Vivianne into the center of attention.

It wasn’t surprising, but as if to confirm the taste she had just praised, Edwin’s eyes slowly trailed up from Vivianne’s toes.

That gaze only heightened her thirst.

When his eyes met her gray ones, the corners of her eyes tingled.

“I wonder if the lady herself is pleased with it,” Edwin said, indulging in Alice’s theatrics.

Alice, who had been lightly joining the conversation, fell silent at that moment. Her effort to somehow tie Edwin and Vivianne together was admirable.

Vivianne, with no way to escape, wet her dry throat with a nervous swallow when it was her turn to respond.

“I like it. It’s far too grand for me, really.”

“And what do you think, Lady Thurston? Do you think what Vivianne’s wearing is too grand for her?”

“Oh my, not at all. Who else could pull off such things if not Miss Aveline? Don’t you agree, Mr. Thomas?”

Alice earned reactions from all sides and laughed elegantly.

Even then, Edwin’s relentless gaze stayed fixed on Vivianne—even as he swallowed his champagne, even as he answered Alice’s question.

Vivianne, who had reached the limit of what she could endure, swallowed the champagne with feigned indifference.

Whether the bubbling liquid in the glass was alcohol or water didn’t matter anymore.

What mattered was that it was salvation—something to moisten her dry throat.

At first, she had intended just a single sip to wet her throat, but the champagne turned out to be sweeter and more pleasant than expected, and she finished it quickly.

Then her agonizing thirst subsided.

Alice, still chatting beside her, secretly poked Vivianne in the side.

Vivianne knew exactly what Alice wanted, but she had already had her talk with Edwin earlier that afternoon.

A warm heat rose from the pit of her stomach. That strange heat gave her an unfamiliar courage.

Vivianne, who had tried not to meet Edwin’s gaze even once since taking her place, now looked at him of her own will.

“Well then… please enjoy the rest of your evening, Your Grace. I hope you enjoy your evening too, Mr. Thomas.”

Vivianne didn’t forget to offer polite words to Thomas as well and smiled gently.

Alice, puzzled by Vivianne’s sudden attempt to leave, tried to stop her, but Vivianne only shook her head in reply.

Alice couldn’t hide her surprise at Vivianne’s bold move to end the conversation so abruptly.

With that, Vivianne turned and walked off without a clear destination.

Reluctantly, Alice bid farewell to the two men and followed after her.

 ────── ✾ ──────

Having finally shaken off Alice, Vivianne wandered in search of Sarah Chadwick—but Sarah and Mrs. Danvers had already disappeared.

Drained of all energy, Vivianne now held another glass of champagne in her hand. She slumped into a corner chair, her cheeks flushed, as she anxiously scanned the room.

The alcohol she had drunk out of thirst was slowly beginning to warm her.

Her gaze wandered aimlessly, and then she spotted Sarah Chadwick.

But Vivianne couldn’t run to her and clear the misunderstanding because Sarah was now partnered with Edwin.

Seeing the two of them engaged in such a warm and familiar conversation made her throat burn all over again.

What were they talking about?

What season would they choose for their wedding?

How lavish it would be?

Perhaps they were talking about the etiquette of the married life they would share in their manor. And, in the end, would they even discuss her—Vivianne Aveline—a subject too uncomfortable to say aloud?

Vivianne sighed heavily and emptied her glass. The sweet taste lingered on the tip of her tongue.

It was so sugary, it hardly felt like alcohol, yet it still heated her body and sent her blood spinning.

Why is it that I’m always someone’s dagger?

Her parents, who gave up everything so their only daughter wouldn’t be taken by a greedy king.

Sayer, who once begged his enemy for his life.

The Baroness Baytness, who could never escape her pain while staying close to her beloved son.

And now, even Sarah Chadwick, lost in the bliss of her honeymoon dreams.

Those thoughts suddenly felt unbearably bitter.

She needed more champagne.

Vivianne fetched another glass and returned to her seat. She swallowed the sweet drink in an attempt to soothe her bitter heart.

      Does it feel a little better now?

She couldn’t tell what she truly felt inside—partly because of the increasing intoxication.

“Your Respected Majesty.”

Then, it happened.

Just like the champagne bubbles that burst brightly in her glass, Sarah Chadwick’s sweet voice popped into the air.

      Did it sound that sweet to Edwin, too?

A pointless thought crossed her mind.

Sarah’s fresh, clear voice swept away the background chatter of the party.

All eyes turned to her as she stood before the Queen.

“I humbly wish to make a small request of Your Majesty. While the orchestra’s performance is delightful, wouldn’t it be wonderful to hear Miss Aveline’s cello playing?”

Out of nowhere, the spark landed on Vivianne, who had been quietly watching.

All eyes now shifted to her, wide with surprise.

Locking eyes with the Queen, Vivianne shot up from her seat.

She wondered if she’d drunk so much that she was hearing and seeing things that weren’t real.

“I heard a rumor that Miss Aveline recently purchased a Carter cello. I’ve been very curious to hear her play it. Since Carter cellos are exceptionally rare and highly valued instruments—owned by many renowned cellists—I imagine Miss Aveline’s performance must be worthy of such a treasure. So how about giving Miss Aveline the honor of presenting a birthday gift to Her Majesty?”

Sarah Chadwick smiled gently at Vivianne as she spoke, making it nearly impossible for Vivianne to refuse without looking rude.

If the Queen accepted, Vivianne would be forced to play—despite how stiff and unpracticed her hands had become after so long.

Her head was spinning, and once again, her throat felt dry.

But the champagne was already gone, and even if she wanted to tilt the glass for the last drop, it had already been taken away.

The Queen curled her lips into an amused smile, clearly intrigued.

“Miss Aveline.”

The Queen smiled gently and beckoned her forward.

Vivianne, unable to endure it any longer, stepped forward. But with every step, she realized just how drunk she actually was—and her mind went into emergency mode.

Finally standing beside Sarah, Vivianne offered the Queen a polite bow.

“As Miss Chadwick said, I would love to receive your performance as a gift. Would you oblige me?”

There was a softness in the Queen’s elegant tone—but beneath it, bones were melting. It was clear she had every intention of crushing the rumors about the future duchess circulating in the capital.

She hoped Vivianne would botch the performance, proving she wasn’t fit to be a duchess—and instead would remain infamous as the whore who once seduced the Duke of Baytness.

Sarah Chadwick, too, was testing Vivianne, backed by the royal favor. She was trying to seize the upper hand Vivianne had gained earlier that afternoon.

“… It’s been such a long time since I last played, Your Majesty. I’m afraid it may not sound pleasant.”

“That’s quite all right. I’d still like to hear it.”

With a graceful gesture, the Queen signaled to the orchestra. All the musicians cleared the stage—except for one cellist, who now stood holding the instrument and waiting for Vivianne.

Vivianne took a deep breath.

She wiped her sweaty palms on her skirt and, with difficulty, she took a step toward the stage.

As the cello was handed to her, a rush of nervousness surged through her.

Vivianne met the eyes of everyone now watching her—and finally, her gaze stopped on Edwin’s blue eyes. He was observing the absurd scene in front of him with calm indifference, sipping his champagne.

      Was this how he had watched me back then, swimming in Lake Lannoy in the summer? With that same detached curiosity, as if it were someone else’s life?

The thought stung—and the wall between her and that man grew a little clearer.

Vivianne exhaled sharply as she sat down.

She nestled the cello between her knees and took hold of the bow.

Out of habit, she instinctively plucked at its frayed hairs.

Holding her breath, Vivianne looked down at the cello.

It had been a long time since she had felt the dull weight of a cello.