There Is No Paradise Where You Escaped - Chapter 71

Charlotte hurried down the stairs with joy in her steps. She had been told that Edwin and Vivianne wouldn’t be back from the capital until early the next morning, but when she heard late that evening that they had returned sooner than expected, she couldn’t hide her excitement.

While their well-being mattered most, the thought that she might be freed from Rottermond as early as tomorrow—or, at the latest, the day after—filled her with hope. Remembering the suffocating and painful days she had endured, she longed to leave Rottermond immediately.

Charlotte stepped outside the manor, but Susanna was nowhere to be seen. It seemed strange that she hadn’t come out to greet her son, but Charlotte was glad she could enjoy the moment freely. As she heard the carriages coming over the drawbridge, a bright smile spread across her face. By the time the carriage reached the front of the manor, her cheeks were already slightly pink with excitement.

The door of the carriage opened, and Edwin stepped out first, guided by a servant holding a lamp.

“Your Grace,” Charlotte greeted him with a bright smile and a courteous bow.

It had been a long time since she had welcomed Edwin with such brightness, especially after the strain caused by their disputes over marriage.

“Have you been well?” Edwin asked, returning her smile and gently patting her head.

“Yes, of course. When I heard you were arriving early, I told the servants to prepare a bath for you right away.”

“I’m glad to see you looking well,” he said.

Charlotte gave a shy smile in response.

Then came Vivianne, emerging with the help of a servant. Charlotte turned her cheerful greeting toward her as well.

“Vivianne!”

Vivianne, now standing on solid ground, looked up to meet Charlotte’s eyes. Her face was also full of joy.

“Charlotte. Have you been well? I missed you so much.”

Vivianne smiled as she came closer and gently pressed her cheek to Charlotte’s. Her soft floral scent and warm presence melted a small part of Charlotte’s cold heart.

“Of course. A bath has been drawn for you as well. You must be exhausted from the long journey—go get some rest.”

Edwin looked back at the two women. Charlotte saw Vivianne’s smile fade a little when she caught Edwin’s glance. But once he turned and walked away with Roarke, creating some space between them, Vivianne’s face softened again.

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Charlotte and Vivianne continued their unfinished conversation in the bathroom. Soaking in the tub, surrounded by warm steam and a sweet fragrance, Vivianne leaned close to Charlotte, who was sitting at the edge of the bath.

Charlotte told her about life in Rottermond without Edwin and Vivianne—how difficult and painful it had been, how deeply she had missed the two of them. She added that it was only thanks to Baron Zimmerman that she had been able to catch her breath from time to time.

“So, how was your first time in the capital, Vivianne?”

Vivianne, who had been lying on her arms at the edge of the tub, made a soft humming sound before straightening up. As the water rippled with her movement, it soaked the sleeves of Charlotte’s dress.

“It was enormous. Splendid, complicated, and crowded. I went to the post office, but it was so big and vast that I couldn’t find what I was looking for. I probably could have, but I didn’t even know where to start.”

“The post office is really huge, isn’t it? I’ve never had a reason to go myself, so I’m not familiar with the inside, but every time I pass by, I can’t take my eyes off it.”

“Also, Mr. Humphrey told me that in Farrington, there are many gentlemen who enjoy their youth late into the night. That day, His Grace also…”

Vivianne’s voice abruptly trailed off as she was about to mention Edwin. Perhaps due to the fatigue from travel, her pale cheeks flushed red.

Then Charlotte happened to notice a bluish bruise on Vivianne’s pale chest.

“Oh? What happened here?”

Vivianne’s voice quickened, seemingly flustered. Charlotte, assuming the embarrassment had more to do with being seen by Sophie, quickly changed the subject.

“Ah… It’s nothing. I must have bumped into something.”

“How on earth would you get a bruise there from bumping into something…”

“Exactly! I was so embarrassed when Sophie saw it.”

Vivianne’s voice quickened, seemingly flustered. Charlotte, assuming the embarrassment had more to do with being seen by Sophie, quickly changed the subject.

“By the way, what happened with the man from that letter?”

Charlotte hadn’t written back to Vivianne’s letter, especially because she knew the man mentioned in it was Edwin. She didn’t want to send a reply that felt fake or forced. A letter, after all, reflected the writer’s true feelings, and it was hard to lie through one. So, she waited for Vivianne’s response instead.

But Vivianne, seemingly lost in thought, simply touched her lips absentmindedly.

“Vivianne,” Charlotte said, splashing water at her playfully.

Startled by the droplets, Vivianne flinched and burst into giggles.

“What happened with the man in the letter? I didn’t reply because I thought my response would arrive just as you were returning.”

“Ah… I see.”

The less Vivianne said, the more vivid Charlotte’s curiosity grew, fed by imagination.

“Did the gentleman in the letter… perhaps propose to you?”

Vivianne laughed hollowly and shook her head.

“Please forget about that gentleman. I think I misunderstood things.”

“… Misunderstood what, exactly?”

Vivianne shyly rubbed the back of her neck, stirring the water with her hand as she drew her legs in close. She never said what she had been thinking—but Charlotte could easily guess. And it was precisely that guess that left a bitter taste in her mouth and soured her mood.

Then, suddenly, Vivianne leaned in closer, eyes bright with a new thought.

“By the way, is kissing between men and women really not a big deal in Neway?”

“K-kissing?”

“I saw couples kissing in the royal palace and parks. Even when others were watching, they didn’t seem to care at all.”

“Well… a kiss doesn’t mean someone loses their chastity. In Neway, romance between men and women isn’t treated as such a taboo as it is in Preston.”

“Oh my. I see.”

Vivianne covered her slightly open mouth in visible shock, and Charlotte’s sinking emotions began to lift again.

Vivianne shook her head and leaned back, looking more at ease. Charlotte’s eyes drifted again to Vivianne’s pale chest.

No matter how much she thought about it, she couldn’t imagine how someone could get a bruise in that spot. Charlotte realized she had reached the limits of her imagination.

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A sharp, smoky smell came from the crackling fireplace. The warm air slowly spread, but Susanna’s face stayed cold—cold enough to freeze every city in the South. Not even the fire could soften her anger.

Susanna had been like this for days—ever since she got a letter from Lady Danvers. The letter brought surprising news: Edwin and Vivianne were already in a relationship, and in Farrington, people were saying that Vivianne Aveline would become the next duchess. As if to prove those rumors, Edwin had been constantly at Vivianne’s side, and she had been acting like the prospective duchess.

What made things worse was that Edwin had never spoken against the possible engagement. In fact, he seemed to be seriously thinking about it. Because of that, the Chadwick family decided to trust him, even with all the gossip. Apparently, there was even some consideration of them getting married while keeping Vivianne as Edwin’s mistress. It hinted that if Sarah hadn’t changed her mind, she would have faced a big problem later on.

She was mostly angry at Lady Danvers, who criticized Edwin; then she grew angrier at Edwin, who had caused all this; and finally, at Aveline—the source of it all.

Susanna regretted not going to the capital with them. She glared into the violently blazing fire, forcing down the fury that refused to settle.

Around that time, slow and heavy footsteps began to approach. She would never mistake her son’s gait; she knew instantly that it was Edwin coming upstairs to the second-floor parlor. But she had no desire to look at him. No matter how much she loved him, all she wanted now was to send him back to Rodinia as soon as possible.

Edwin, the one who had shattered her hopes so thoroughly, seated himself in the vacant wingback chair. He looked at her calmly, as if nothing had happened. Even as she felt his gaze, Susanna resolutely kept her head turned away.

“Is something wrong?” He asked.

His concerned yet irresponsibly casual question sparked an explosion of her suppressed rage.

“So, when’s the wedding?” Her voice sharpened, her eyes glinting like a predator’s.

But Edwin, as if utterly clueless, blinked his usual calm blue eyes.

“I’ve informed Chadwick that I won’t be marrying her.”

“Who said anything about Chadwick? I’m asking when you plan to marry Aveline. I hear the two of you were making quite the spectacle in the capital. Surely you’ve already set a date for the ceremony.”

Edwin’s lips, which had been about to open, closed again. There was nothing more frustrating than facing those impassive blue eyes that revealed nothing. She just wanted to understand—even a little—what he was truly thinking.

“If you love Vivianne, then marry her. Am I telling you not to? Do you think I hate her? Whatever kind of relationship you and Aveline have, if she’s the woman you love, then I have no intention of opposing it. So all you need to do is give me a clear answer—”

Susanna just barely managed to keep her voice from rising. To Edwin, who seemed entirely unbothered, it might have sounded calm—but she was trying her hardest.

“So tell me. Surely you’ve discussed it with Aveline, too.”

“Discussed what?”

“The wedding!”

Unable to suppress her fury any longer, Susanna finally burst out, pounding her chest as she exhaled ragged breaths.

Edwin’s gaze drifted lazily to the crumbling firewood, mirroring Susanna’s fury.

Within those flames, he recalled a conversation from a few days earlier, inside the carriage:

“I hope… nothing like that day ever happens again.”

“That day, I was in a situation where I couldn’t fight you off, Your Grace.”

“I think it’s a sin to do something like that when we’re not married and not in love.”

Even then, Vivianne had spoken of marriage and love.

      Marriage. And love.

So, if I married her, could I then possess Vivianne Aveline however I pleased?

But then my reason to kill Vivianne would disappear completely.

Vivianne meant nothing to him unless she was an Aveline.

“There’s no reason for me to marry Vivianne.”

He wasn’t so foolish as to erase his own justification just to have that woman.

Vivianne had to be an Aveline.

Fourteen years ago, the girl sitting in that carriage was not Vivianne Baytness.

“Are you saying you don’t love her?”

“I see no reason I should love Vivianne.”

Edwin smirked crookedly and blinked slowly.

“Then leave Vivianne here and go,” Susanna said, pressing a hand to her forehead and sighing.

“You’ll never be able to forget. I know that. She’s from the family that hurt you deeply—of course, you’ll never forget. But, Eddie… I’m sorry, the living must keep living. Holding onto someone who causes you such pain will only prolong your suffering. I can’t bear to watch it anymore.”

      And the lips of the person who hurt me the most were as sweet as honey.

Every time he sucked her lower lip, that soft, yielding texture, the slippery dance of their tongues… all mingled with her faint, sweet gasps.

Whenever he recalled those lips, so willingly parted for him, well…

      Was she truly the one who hurt me the most?

Vivianne’s fate had been postponed indefinitely.

Edwin desired her, then he didn’t. Wanted her, then didn’t.

Now, he felt he would turn to ash without her. He could no longer bring himself to kill her.

On the other hand…

Could Vivianne kill him—the man determined to take everything from her?

There was no escape except to kill the man who was determined to possess her.

If he could not kill her… then she would have to kill him. Maybe that was the only way this would end.

Or—he would take her. And after that, he could kill her without regret.

“Mother.”

Edwin’s tightly sealed lips finally parted.

Susanna, wiping away her tears, looked at Edwin bitterly.

With those emotionless, cold blue eyes, he whispered:

“If I don’t have Vivianne…”

But what truly mattered wasn’t that.

Not whether Vivianne could kill him. Not whether he could possess her. Even more important than all of that—

“I die too.”

Vivianne Aveline was the goal of his life. The very reason he had lived this long.

He had crossed the threshold of death countless times just to reach this moment—to meet Vivianne Aveline.

To meet that Aveline, who had once breathed life into him.