There Is No Paradise Where You Escaped - Chapter 72

After repairing the carriage, they set off straight for Rodinia.

Charlotte looked at the distant Rottermond Castle, feeling the weight in her chest slowly ease. As they crossed the final drawbridge, she turned from the window, a bit relieved. Her eyes naturally settled on Edwin across from her. There was nothing unusual anymore about him watching Vivianne. His eyes, blank and unreadable, stayed fixed on her, while Vivianne looked uncomfortable under his gaze. It had simply become a normal part of everyday life.

Charlotte looked at Vivianne, who now seemed used to—and weary of—Edwin’s persistent stare. She expected Vivianne’s gray eyes, usually quick to avert, to remain lowered in forced indifference. But instead, they lingered on Edwin. It had always been Vivianne who looked away first. Yet this time, it was Edwin who pulled open the drawn curtain and turned his gaze to the window outside.

The shift in their relationship shattered Charlotte’s fragile calm. When she finally looked away from the two of them, she had to endure the full ache pounding in her heart. She squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she could just fall asleep. But that feeling didn’t last long. Slowly opening her eyes again, Charlotte looked at Edwin, staring absently out the window. His cold blue eyes, now lacking even warmth, sparkled under the sunlight. As she looked into those eyes she had loved so much, time seemed to stop.

Realizing that there weren’t many days left to see those eyes again made her heart shatter with a thunderous roar. Charlotte wanted to run away from that reality.

      Couldn’t I live with him forever?

Even if it wasn’t love, she just wanted to see his face every day, to wait for him and believe he would come back to her.

Charlotte’s gaze moved slowly toward Vivianne. At some point, Vivianne, too, had begun staring out the window. When Charlotte naturally rested her head on Vivianne’s small shoulder, Vivianne smiled faintly and gently caressed Charlotte’s cheek.

Soft laughter filled the carriage. Edwin’s piercing blue eyes, crystalline in the light, slid toward Vivianne.

Vivianne, once oppressed by that relentless gaze, now looked more at ease. Only then did Charlotte close her eyes, knowing that facing an unwelcome change would surely leave her heart aching.

────── ✾ ──────

The Rodinia Castle held an unprecedented beauty amid autumn. Compared to last year’s scenery, the manor now looked so enchanting it could have been pulled from the pages of a fairytale. The sky was a deep, oceanic blue, soaring endlessly above. Not a single cloud was in sight, and though the air carried a biting chill, the warm autumn sun softened it.

The tall trees planted throughout the estate had changed into brilliant garments of many colors. Golden leaves, resplendent in the sunlight, trembled with a papery rustle at the slightest breeze. Crimson leaves, like the setting sun, fluttered down to the ground.

The garden, where the gardener’s careful efforts were evident, had reached the peak of its autumn splendor.

For Vivianne, now walking upon Rodinia’s soil, there was a sense of boundless freedom. It felt as though she had returned to her birthplace — a familiar home — and she welcomed the feeling of liberation.

Many things had changed at the estate since her departure.

When Vivianne heard of the massive renovation of the maze garden, she was thrilled like a child, though she didn’t show it. The desire to dash off into the maze — where new challenges might await — was strong. But after a month-long journey, she couldn’t afford to overexert her already weary body.

After a bath, her eyelids grew heavy. The sun had barely dipped below the horizon when a cold autumn wind began pelting the windowpanes. Safe, warm, and wrapped in blankets, she couldn’t overcome her sleepiness.

Having skipped dinner, Vivianne soon fell into a deep sleep.

When she awoke feeling surprisingly refreshed, the clock’s hand pointed to 9 o’clock. It was not a particularly late hour for the youths of Farrington, but in Rodinia, it was a time already swallowed in complete darkness.

Hugging the blanket tightly, Vivianne blinked her now-light eyelids. Just before she’d fallen asleep, the wind had been rattling the windows — yet now, the world was so quiet it felt frozen in time.

When Vivianne got out of bed and opened the window, the cold night air rushed in. Thankfully, it wasn’t so cold that she wanted to shut it again. Perched on the window ledge, Vivianne gazed out at the manor cloaked in darkness.

And then the darkness, so complete, summoned back that day again.

The memory: a narrow, damp space lit only by thin moonlight seeping beneath the door. His kiss. Eyes closed, she’d let him consume her. The musky scent of him, the soft press of his lips, every touch sparking like static. That hidden corner had felt like another realm, warped and detached from reality. How else could she have surrendered to such desire?

A hot, humid breath slipped through Vivianne’s parted lips. She drew her knees close and rested her face sideways against them — her cheek burned where it touched her leg.

That day, the sound of the palace bells had snapped her back to her senses. Only when their lips parted and she met his glittering blue gaze did she realize what she had done. Yet when he leaned in to kiss her again, she fled.

Even as others were publicly shamed in the gardens, her mind remained trapped in that space. For days, her soul lingered there.

Edwin never brought up the incident afterward. It was inconceivable that they, who had shared a kiss that should never have happened, could be so detached. Still, Vivianne did not let her guard down. The Duke, having succeeded in stealing a kiss, might just as well attempt the next step.

That was why, on the carriage to Rottermond, she finally brought it up first.

“What kind of thing happened that day?”

“What kind of situation would make it impossible for you to fight me off?”

“What is it that two people who aren’t even married aren’t supposed to do?”

Faced with such absurd, ridiculous answers, she gave up on the conversation. She stared silently at his teasing smile until he looked away first. Was it because their lips had touched? She’d assumed that avoiding him, the man who’d confessed his desire, was the wisest path. Yet when she confronted him directly, he retreated. Realizing this, the scratchy discomfort she used to feel around him faded, and even the fear and anxiety that had once easily overtaken her began to lose their grip.

      Let it go. That day was an accident. A dream I’ll never have again.

Consoling herself, Vivianne let out a heavy sigh and lifted her head. The swift autumn wind tousled her hair. She smoothed down her disheveled golden strands and stepped away from the window. She sat on the edge of the bed but didn’t feel like lying down.

      Is he asleep right now?

The question came out of nowhere, unexpectedly crossing her mind. The curiosity, which hadn’t even been there before, now pressed in on her. Realizing what she was doing, she frowned and rubbed her temples.

“I guess I’m still a little tired,” she muttered softly, letting out a faint, dry laugh.

It was because of a vision of her future where she might die at the hands of the man who had taken her first kiss. The man who had bitten and sucked her lips with burning heat. Who had devoured them roughly after a moment of gentleness. The feel of his smooth, strange tongue—somehow not unpleasant—was still imprinted on her mouth.

All of it was carved into her lips, and he was someone who might one day leave behind even the mark of death.

She also recalled the words of her governess — that such passion and fervor were common traits in men who only aimed to steal a woman’s chastity. As her thoughts became increasingly tangled, the once-clear and calm state of her heart grew just as unsettled.

Vivianne couldn’t sleep anymore.

She just wanted to walk — to feel the chill of the night wind. Maybe then, the memory of that unforgettable day, the one she should forget, might fade just a little.

Vivianne got dressed and left her room. She planned to cool the lingering heat in her body by walking along Lake Lannoy — whose blue surface resembled Edwin’s eyes so much.

The autumn scenery of the lake was breathtaking. She had missed it terribly while away from Rodinia, and now she intended to fill this sleepless night with its beauty.

But the moment she stepped outside the manor, an eerie question surfaced:

      What if the Duke is already at the lake?

A flicker of fear gripped her momentarily, but it vanished in an instant.

Edwin no longer frightened her, nor did she fear him. And besides, he must be tired too. If he were to visit the lake, tonight probably wouldn’t be the night.

      He won’t be there. He won’t be in a place where I’m not. He won’t be waiting for me.

As she walked through the darkness, Vivianne repeated those words to herself over and over again.

────── ✾ ──────

She followed the well-kept path that led to the lakeside. It felt a little awkward — this was her first time walking it alone. The plump, ripe red berries lining the path were a feast for the birds. When she imagined a tiny bird happily filling its belly with those berries, a soft chuckle escaped her lips.

The path ended, and the lake came into view. Even though she had been away from Rodinia for a long time, the lake still lay in its place beneath the lukewarm glow of the moon.

That fact filled her with immense relief. Just as the sound of the lapping waves began to soothe her mind, Vivianne’s gaze shifted to the dock — and she spotted a shadow perched at its edge. That shadow, too, had sensed her presence and turned to look her way.

Her heart, which had been beating steadily, suddenly pounded wildly. Even in the darkness, his sharp features were unmistakable. Slowly, he stood up.

Vivianne, frozen like a statue, met his gaze. For a moment, she debated whether to turn around immediately. But before he could gesture to her, she realized running away wasn’t the only answer. Mustering her courage, Vivianne took a step forward.

With steady, confident strides, she approached the dock where he stood. The closer she got, the clearer his face became. When Vivianne finally reached the dock entrance and stopped, Edwin’s lips curved into a smile.

As she stepped forward, one wooden plank at a time, each creaking beneath her weight, the distance between them grew smaller.

“How rare — you’re actually properly dressed.”

He was teasing her, mocking the times she had shown up in her nightclothes, thinking no one else would be around. Vivianne’s eyes immediately sharpened.

“Well, I realized this place doesn’t belong to me to roam as I please. I couldn’t just come out like that.”

“This place belongs to you and me.”

Not wanting to argue, Vivianne chose not to respond and simply averted her eyes.

“Still, what brings you out here at this late hour?”

“What about you?”

“… I couldn’t sleep. I thought I’d take a walk.”

“Perfect, then.” 

Edwin walked past her and headed for the spot where an old, rotting boat had once been tied up. But instead of the rickety vessel that looked like it would break apart at any moment, a new one now floated calmly on the lake’s surface.

Edwin stepped into the boat with ease and looked back at Vivianne, holding out a hand. His eyes were clear and innocent — almost as if he were showing off his new boat.

Vivianne nearly grabbed his hand, ready to abandon all caution and let him into her guarded world without hesitation.

But then again, it was a sleepless night, and she couldn’t quite bring herself to refuse him.

She wasn’t afraid of Edwin anymore.

She didn’t feel fear or anxiety anymore. So maybe, instead of just taking a stroll, going out to the middle of the lake in this new boat wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.