There Is No Paradise Where You Escaped - Chapter 73

Vivianne, seated across from Edwin as he rowed, gazed down at the current’s water. Perhaps it was because she was so used to disturbing the lake’s surface that the sensation of floating without getting wet felt strange.

Before long, the boat that had left the dock found itself adrift in the center of the lake.

“You’re good at rowing.”

The gentle splashing on the lake’s surface diluted the silence, but feeling that wasn’t enough, she deliberately started a conversation.

With a cool smile that didn’t seem like mere flattery, Edwin stretched out his long legs and relaxed his body.

“I rowed so much in the army, it was tiresome.”

“Ah…” Vivianne nodded.

Then the conversation fell silent again. Although the space around them was certainly wider and more open than that other space, it felt no different—still just the two of them, floating in the middle of the water. It was as if they were trapped in a small boat, just as cramped as that other place.

Vivianne decided to set aside her despairing thoughts. Starting a fight here would be reckless, and she was no fool.

“I happened to hear from Sophie that you were in the army. How did you end up becoming a soldier?”

Sophie and Charlotte had praised him endlessly—from the time he was just a low-ranking soldier until he earned his officer’s badge. They talked nonstop about his deeds in the legendary Battle of Greenford and the battles that followed, and how great a soldier he was. Vivianne had already memorized all his achievements.

But no one had told her why he became a soldier, why he worked so hard, or why he was discharged. More precisely, Sophie and Charlotte didn’t even know the reasons themselves.

“Because I wanted to go to war.”

Saying he wanted war—with a face that didn’t suit war at all—felt strange.

“War? Why? It’s dangerous, hard… you could die.”

“If the enemy is Preston, it’s a different story.”

As soon as the truth emerged, Vivianne immediately regretted asking. If she had known the questions she was curious about were tied again to events from fourteen years ago, she wouldn’t have asked. She hated the guilt that choked her—but she still wanted to know. If that was the punishment her family had to bear, Vivianne was willing to accept it gladly.

“But because of the peace treaty, the war that was on the brink of breaking out was called off, and I was discharged. There was no reason to stay any longer. I only passionately served in some unrelated battles.”

He smiled as if joking, showing no sign of regret. Vivianne thought that if the peace treaty hadn’t been signed, they might have met not on Neway soil, but on Preston’s—and not with him elegantly dressed, holding a pen to write a receipt, but in a dust-covered military uniform, holding guns and knives meant for slaughter.

“If the peace treaty hadn’t been signed, then you might have killed me already. And my family too… would they already be dead by your hand?”

Vivianne imagined a war between Preston and Neway—and Edwin stepping once more onto Preston’s soil for the sake of his blind revenge. Dressed in a military uniform, holding weapons of war.

The hands that once held her to keep her from falling, the lips that had sweetly met hers—all crumbled like a fleeting dream, leaving only a battlefield reeking of blood and churning with the brutal hunger for slaughter. No version of their story ended happily. What Edwin desired and what Vivianne vowed to protect would always be at odds.

“Edwin.”

Lost in her grim fantasy, Vivianne was startled back to reality by the sound of his name from her own lips. Only then did she notice the rippling sound of the water and the cool wind brushing her cheeks.

“Call me that. From now on, always.”

The rippling lake fell silent as if time had stopped. Only the man before her—blinking slowly with his deep-set eyes—existed in her world now. Vivianne looked away, her face flushing. She reached over the boat’s edge to cool her burning fingertips, causing new ripples on the lake’s surface.

“Then, if… if it hadn’t been for the peace treaty, would you have stayed in the army? If… if a war breaks out now, would you go to the battlefield?”

The water was so cold. After asking, she muttered softly, embarrassed.

Unable to stay still, Vivianne stopped stirring the water. After wiping her wet hand on her skirt, she felt some of the heat subside.

Her hesitant eyes met Edwin’s, waiting for his answer.

“I wouldn’t leave you behind.”

His slightly delayed answer came drifting in the wind, carrying with it the falling leaves. The autumn night breeze crossing the lake was cold, but it failed to penetrate her warmth.

The conversation stalled again. Everything suddenly seemed impossible to answer.

If Edwin sought silence, he had certainly achieved it.

Vivianne, responding just enough, felt her throat go dry. She decided it would be better not to continue the conversation—perhaps to simply enjoy the view. Or return to the manor.

“Are you disappointed?”

A confusing question came to Vivianne, who had postponed her decision.

“That I won’t leave you behind to go to the battlefield.”

“… Why would I be disappointed about that?”

“You’d be free if I died. Wouldn’t that disappoint you?”

“What? No matter what, I’ve never thought that…”

There had been many times she resented him—but never once had she wished for his death.

Just as she’d never truly regretted what had happened fourteen years ago, even though he had asked her to regret it.

Vivianne had never imagined him on the brink of death, so she could answer with certainty.

“I’m not disappointed. I only asked because I was curious. I asked because I wondered… if war with Preston still matters to you. It’s not because I want you dead. It has nothing to do with gaining freedom.”

Edwin laughed deeply, and Vivianne pressed her lips together tightly.

“Even if I gave you a chance to kill me?”

Vivianne realized then that this wasn’t a simple question. He wasn’t seeking her opinion. But she couldn’t discern his true intention either.

“I could kill your parents. Even then, could you throw away the chance to kill me?”

Edwin continued to ask questions that couldn’t be answered.

Vivianne clutched at her skirt, the soft fabric crumpling under her weak grip.

Edwin breathed slowly and languidly, turning his gaze to the water across the tranquil lake. Even with just his eyes, the surface seemed to tremble and ripple.

“I can’t swim like you can,” he suddenly said.

“…”

“If I fell into this lake… I might actually die.”

The air by the lakeside settled with an ominous weight.

“… I don’t know what you mean, but I’m neither strong enough to push someone into the water, nor do I intend to. No matter how many bad things you’ve done to me, I have no intention of becoming a murderer.”

“If you could kill me without touching me… then?”

The questions came one after another as if he wanted to hear a specific answer —as if he longed for Vivianne to voice regret for what happened fourteen years ago, or to confess she could kill him.

As Edwin slowly stood up, the boat rocked. Startled, Vivianne grabbed the edge to steady herself.

“Why—why are you doing that? Sit down. It’s dangerous. If you fall, you’ll drown.”

“You only have to choose now.”

With the cruelest smile in the world, he stepped onto the hull and let his body lean into the pull of gravity.

Vivianne’s eyes went wide as she reached out—but it was already too late.

With a splash, Edwin’s body sank beneath the surface.

Even as he descended, his piercing blue eyes remained stubbornly fixed on Vivianne.

The calmness of his gaze made the entire incident feel unreal, like a dream—or something that had never happened at all.

Paralyzed, Vivianne only came to her senses after his shining blue gaze disappeared.

Without hesitation, she plunged into the lake after him.

She swam swiftly through the water, meeting Edwin as he continued to sink.

Barely managing to grab him, she pulled him upward. But the Goddess of Fate would not let Vivianne go so easily.

A sharp pain in her right leg stopped her kicks.

Startled, Vivianne lost her grip on Edwin. Instead, her body began sinking into the depths of the lake.

      So this is how we both die.

Struggling even to breathe, Vivianne faced her final moments.

She had imagined being strangled, shot, or even killed by a needle-like blade—but drowning had never crossed her mind.

Her struggling body began to relax.

      Was this also his poison?

Yet in her final thoughts, it was Edwin’s face that surfaced—their clashes, their accidents, that kiss.

Vivianne closed her eyes.

Her breath began to fail, little by little. If she exhaled the last of it, everything would end.

Just as she was about to resign herself to that fate, her body—sinking limply—suddenly began to float.

She opened her eyes slowly and found herself pressed against Edwin’s neck as he held her against him.

Feeling the limit of her breath-holding, Vivianne squeezed his clothing tightly, her eyes shut tight until they breached the surface.

Vivianne gasped harshly, grabbing onto the dock in front of her. She hauled herself up, panting painfully.

Only now, as the terror of death began to recede, did she remember Edwin’s voice telling her he couldn’t swim.

Furious at how everything had spiraled into such a ridiculous mess, Vivianne shouted at Edwin as he climbed up onto the dock:

“You said you couldn’t swim…!”

Her words were cut off as their lips collided.

The rough, cold sensation of his kiss overwhelmed her, swallowing her whole.

Vivianne was forced backward under the force of it. Both her hands—trying to push him away—were easily restrained by just one of his. With his weight pressing down on her, she couldn’t resist—only struggled helplessly.

By the time she began to run out of breath beneath Edwin’s unrelenting kiss, he finally pulled away.

Enraged, Vivianne glared at him with bloodshot eyes.

“What the hell are you doing?! You lied about not being able to swim and jumped into the water—and now you’re kissing me? Like this? So violently?”

“If you hated it, you should’ve let me die.”

“How could I do that?! How could I just stand there and watch someone die?!”

“Learn it now—sometimes pretending not to see someone dying is what’ll help you survive.”

“I would never…!”

Vivianne’s angry words were cut short as his mouth silenced hers again.

Her fury was swallowed once more.

The sensation that invaded her was neither gentle nor kind.

It was no different from a wild beast, stripped of reason, charging at her. His raw touch roughly pulled down her wet dress, lifting it without care. A man who couldn’t be satisfied with just a kiss now came at her, trying to take everything.

Pinned beneath him—soaked and disheveled—all Vivianne felt was despair.

“Please…”

Tears streamed from her reddened eyes.

Her voice, choked with sobs, made his hand—poised at her breast—freeze.

“Please don’t do this.”

Vivianne’s pitiful resistance came to a halt. Her body, which had been struggling to escape, went limp like a corpse.

He lifted his face from where it had been buried against her neck and gazed at her pale expression.

Whether it was the water dripping from him or her tears, something wet trailed down her cheeks.

“This is my last shred of pride,” she whispered, her chest heaving.

Vivianne, gasping between sobs, broke down completely.

“So that… whenever I die… I can face it without shame. You… you can’t…”

Edwin, who had been staring down at her coldly and silently, slowly let her go.

The autumn night breeze by the lake was cold, and Vivianne was soaked and half-undressed.

He helped her up from where she lay sprawled on the dock and held her small body in his arms.

In silence, he wrapped her head gently in his hand and tried to comfort her. He straightened her disheveled clothes and pulled down her skirt.

But even then, Vivianne’s body remained cold as ice.