There Is No Paradise Where You Escaped - Chapter 74

Edwin carried Vivianne—shivering and drenched—back to the manor. After entrusting her limp, corpse-like body to Sophie, he instructed her to give Vivianne a warm bath. Sophie, pale as a sheet, looked on the verge of tears as if she were witnessing someone about to die.

Edwin, too, returned to his room and submerged himself in a hot bath. The lake’s icy chill now felt even more vivid against his skin. Steam rose in thick clouds, quickly filling the bathroom. The chill soon dissipated, and as warmth enveloped him, his tired eyes slowly closed.

Leaning his head against the edge of the tub, Edwin quietly recalled what had happened at the lake. In the rippling water, he saw Vivianne’s gray eyes staring down at him from the surface—eyes brimming with turmoil and confusion.

Vivianne had never been wise. She was neither clever nor rational—only recklessly emotional. Even fourteen years ago, her naively kind nature had led to this very outcome. Yet here she was, unchanged, throwing herself into the lake.

Had she not intervened, he might have ended it all then and there. Then he, too, might have found peace—joining his family, and her, in eternal rest.

So, as he sank deep into the lake, Edwin had wished desperately that he wouldn’t survive again by her hands. That he would die just like this, and that she would wish for it too.

But once again, Vivianne had thrown herself into the water. Just like that day fourteen years ago, when she willingly ran to the harbor, she leaped into the lake.

He survived by the hand of that self-righteous girl who once sat so gracefully, always kind. Even today, that princess has saved him.

Vivianne, too, needed a lesson—one that would be carved into her very bones.

      If you had abandoned me, I would have killed you without hesitation.

But since you didn’t abandon me, there was only one path left for me—

To carve myself into you.

He imagined swallowing her tender lips, clutching her damp flesh, consuming her entirely, leaving nothing behind, until his mind would surely become clear.

The smell of lake water mingled with the sugary scent of flowers on her wet skin, pushing his desire to its peak.

      Yes.

Until you cried, I planned to possess you entirely—my rightful claim—and with a clear mind, revisit the promise we made.

Edwin didn’t know what would come after that, but he hoped it would all resolve without trouble.

He opened his eyes, slowly recalling the image of Vivianne’s appearance.

Her lips had turned blue as she sobbed in his arms. Her fragile, delicate body shook violently, as if on the verge of death—even in the mild cold.

       So weak… If I were to take you by force, just as I wished, you’d be utterly destroyed.

He knew that. But seeing it with his own eyes was something else entirely.

He concluded he could never have her.

And if that were the case, killing her would be indefinitely postponed.

He realized that fulfilling the promise he made fourteen years ago was growing increasingly distant.

Edwin slowly submerged himself beneath the warm bathwater.

────── ✾ ──────

Vivianne woke up the next day, surprised by her own resilience. My body is far sturdier than I thought, she mused, examining herself in disbelief.

She had jumped into a freezing lake, rolled around on the dock with that man, come back shivering from the cold, cried her heart out, taken a bath, and fallen asleep as if she’d passed out.

She had thought, By tomorrow, I’ll be completely useless from a terrible cold, but when morning came, her eyelids felt light, and aside from the stiffness in her shoulders and back, her mind was clear.

Crackle, crackle—the sound of a fire burning made her realize that the reason she felt okay was because of Sophie’s care.

Looking down at Sophie, who had fallen asleep and slumped over the bed, Vivianne laughed softly.

A mix of guilt and gratitude washed over her as she reached out and gently stroked Sophie’s cheek.

Worried that she might wake her, Vivianne quickly withdrew her hand and turned her gaze toward the fireplace.

The scent of the burning logs reminded her of a winter that had yet to arrive.

Within the warmth of the flames, she found traces of the heat that had radiated from Edwin the previous night.

Vivianne absentmindedly touched her lips, recalling the memory of yesterday.

It had already been their second kiss, neither delicate nor composed, but driven by a raw desire to possess.

Last night, he had tried to take everything, but at her desperate plea, he had stopped.

The way he had held her as she sobbed so sadly, it was exactly like that time on their way back from the performance in Farrington, after an argument, when she had cried in his arms.

Edwin had dressed her himself, fixing her disheveled clothes. He had pulled up her dress and lowered the skirt that had been hiked high, covering her legs.

      If he insists on being a villain, he should’ve clawed at my heart ruthlessly from start to finish.

She shouldn’t have let herself be confused by the vague malice and equally vague kindness.

The many versions of Edwin, scattered throughout fragments of memory, left her confused and bewildered.

Edwin was never entirely bad.

But he was never entirely good, either.

She knew she should keep her distance—and yet, on some days, she found herself needing his help.

And he, without hesitation, would step in.

But right now, to Vivianne, Edwin was a bad person.

The memory of him undressing her was far more vivid than that of him dressing her, and the weight of him pinning her down lingered more sharply than any embrace.

“Mm… Are you awake, Miss Vivianne?”

Sophie’s voice pulled Vivianne back from her thoughts.

Rubbing her eyes, Sophie woke up and immediately checked on Vivianne.

“Oh, yeah. You’re awake too?”

Fortunately, Vivianne’s pale face showed no sign of a fever, and her voice sounded bright.

Sophie let out a sigh of relief and smiled.

“I’m so sorry, my lady. I fell asleep without even realizing it.”

“If you’re still tired, sleep some more. You must’ve had a rough night because of me,” Vivianne said, patting Sophie’s shoulder with genuine remorse.

If she hadn’t insisted on a nighttime walk, she wouldn’t have run into Edwin, and then Sophie’s sleep wouldn’t have been disturbed.

“I’m fine! I’m tougher than I look.”

Sophie smiled brightly and gave her own arm a playful slap.

“Are you really okay? I was so shocked yesterday—your body was like ice. At least your lips have gone back to their normal color. I was so worried. You suddenly disappeared late at night, with the Duke…”

Sophie trailed off, steering the conversation away from delicate topics.

“Ah, anyway… I was really worried. You’re not hurting anywhere, are you?”

“I’m fine. Thanks to you, I feel refreshed. I don’t have any pain.”

“That’s such a relief.”

Cheerfully, Sophie walked over to the window and pulled open the curtains.

The soft autumn sunlight streamed into the room, filling it with warmth.

Sophie was about to open the window but turned to glance at Vivianne and decided against it, worried that the morning chill might affect her delicate lady.

“By the way, after the renovation, you can see the maze garden much more clearly from your room, my lady. They must’ve put extra care into the landscaping—it looks far better than before. Why not spend today reading a book in your room, with the garden as your background?”

Vivianne got out of bed and stood next to Sophie.

Just as she’d said, the newly redone maze garden was beautifully landscaped, and somehow, it stood out even more clearly from Vivianne’s room.

Reading did sound nice, but today felt like a day to sink deep into her thoughts.

Vivianne wanted to hide away where no one could find her and spend time completely alone.

────── ✾ ──────

╔═

     The railway construction between Farrington and Rottermond will be completed soon, and the train will begin service. If Miss Windler stays in Rottermond, we’ll be able to see each other more often, won’t we? I already miss you.

                        ═╝

As Charlotte set down Gideon’s letter, her anxiety deepened.

A strange pain had been bothering her since the carriage ride out of Rottermond—it throbbed sharply in her head.

If the wedding were to be held before autumn ended, the day she would leave Rodinia wasn’t far off. But if the wedding were postponed until spring, that would mean staying in Rottermond until then.

Edwin had encouraged Charlotte to remain in Rottermond, citing the long distance between Farrington and Rodinia and the soon-to-be-completed railway between Rottermond and Farrington.

Although Edwin stayed in Rottermond every winter, it was usually no more than a month.

Charlotte, left alone in Rottermond, would have to endure a long, lonely wait.

      Autumn passes quickly. Spring is far away.

So even if it was unconventional, having the wedding in winter seemed like the best option for Charlotte.

Suddenly, tears welled up in her eyes.

Charlotte buried her face in her hands and cried silently.

Tears fell onto Gideon’s letter, smudging parts of the carefully written words.

She wiped her eyes and gently folded the letter, placing it in a drawer. Then she stood before the mirror and tried to tidy her tear-stained face.

But when she met her own tear-filled eyes in the reflection, the urge to cry became overwhelming.

Eventually, Charlotte turned away, hiding her swollen eyes, and buried herself under the covers.

The closer reality loomed, the deeper her despair grew.

The closer the time of parting came, the more meaningless life began to feel, so much so that she truly realized what she had been living for.

      If only time could turn back.

She would gladly sacrifice her very soul to relive the moment she first met Edwin.

If it meant she could spend more time with him, she would give up everything without hesitation.

Stepping out from under the covers, Charlotte stood once again before the mirror and wiped her face.

She couldn’t meet Edwin looking like this.

She needed to cool down and wait for the swelling in her face to subside.

As Charlotte desperately suppressed the tears threatening to burst forth, a sharp, stinging pain pierced her chest. She grimaced, waiting for the ache to fade.