What Should I Do If I Time-Traveled Forty Years Later and My Lover Has Become an Old Man? - MLFYL: 20

On the way home, both of them were silent. The silence lasted until Yu Yao sat down on the sofa, and Jiang Zhonglin poured two cups of hot water over. The two sat opposite each other.

She crossed her arms, looking deeply at her belly, while Jiang Zhonglin looked at the wisps of hot steam rising from the cup.

“Let’s talk,” he finally spoke.

His sigh was heavy, but his eyes were indifferent, as if he had nowhere to look.

He looked at Yu Yao, “Do you want this child?”

She didn’t look at him, but just looked at her belly and simply said one word, “Yes.”

He was silent, looking at her belly, a little dazed.

He tightened his clasped hands and said calmly, “I hope you will think about it again.”

Yu Yao heard this and looked up at him suddenly, “Consider? Consider what? Are you saying you don’t want this child?”

He did not avoid her gaze. “I know you may not be very happy to hear this, but I still hope you can think about it for a few days. This child… he will make things difficult for you in the future.”

She remained silent.

“Yu Yao,” He called out to her softly, his face calm. “I’m already old, I’m like a tree that’s about to wither and rot, I don’t know how much longer I can last in this world. You were the biggest regret in my life, but now that you’re back, I have no regrets. I was thinking about whether to divorce you, but I didn’t say so because I knew you wouldn’t agree. I don’t have much time left to live. When I die, you’ll still be young and can start a new life. And this child, if you keep him, it will be very difficult. I won’t be able to take care of you for long, and I won’t be able to see him grow up.

I’m glad you can accept me, but I know that’s only because you’re young, and young people still have passion in their hearts, and they will be impulsive because something touches them, and decisions made impulsively will often end in regret…”

Yu Yao’s chest heaved, and suddenly she grabbed the pillow beside her and threw it at him.

She interrupted him and knocked his glasses off his head, which fell to the ground with a loud noise.

Jiang Zhonglin opened his eyes, but didn’t pick up the dropped glasses or move.

“You do everything for my good, for me. Do you find yourself magnificent, self-sacrificing, silent, and deeply moved?” Yu Yao curled the corners of her mouth.

The fire blocking her brow and the bitterness flowing into her heart caused her pain and fear, and she didn’t know how to vent her anger, “You think you’re too old and not good enough for me, and you’re afraid I’ll regret it, so you act like my eldest every day. You don’t dare touch me, and you don’t dare like me. I’m tired of you. What if you’re old? Can’t old people like what they like just as much as young people?

While I acknowledge that your years have granted you more life experience, and that your perspectives are shaped by what you’ve endured, I must ask—why do you assume that your judgment automatically defines what is right or wrong for me? Do you realize how much I resent the notion that age alone grants authority over my choices? Even if I choose a path different from yours, it is ultimately my decision.

Why do you insist that I conform to your expectations? Is it a common tendency for those who are older to believe their moral compass is inherently superior?” She struggled to hold back her sharper words, but eventually, she clenched her teeth and swallowed the more cutting remarks.

Jiang Zhonglin’s glasses had been removed, leaving her uncertain whether he could still see her expression clearly. He sat upright and motionless, and without his glasses, the glistening tears in his eyes were especially conspicuous.

He blinked slowly, but didn’t change his previous thoughts under Yu Yao’s anger.

He said in a very calm tone, “Raising a child is no easy task, and it’s also my responsibility, but I can’t bear the responsibility until the end. I’m afraid that this responsibility will eventually fall on you, and I will offer you little. This child may make you lose your freedom, miss out on more opportunities, and choose a new life in the future. If you choose him, you are choosing sacrifice. I hope you can understand.

As for me… Yu Yao, have you seen what people look like when they grow up? Not like me now, an old man who can still speak, walk, and think normally, but when they grow up, they can’t walk, can’t eat on their own, and lose their minds. Caring for the elderly, especially when you have feelings for this old man, this feeling will gradually fade. The longer it takes, the more bored you will be. Even if you love him, things that gradually fade away will make people feel bored and afraid.

I have already resolved to bear the burden of an aging man nearing his twilight years; how could I possibly ask you to endure the hardships of raising a child, so young and difficult? It’s an immense challenge—you’ve lost everything familiar in a single night. That alone is enough to weigh heavily on your shoulders. There is nothing wrong with seeking a life of ease and freedom; you need not carry such psychological burdens.”

Yu Yao felt a sudden, searing pain in her heart, the cause of which she could not quite identify.

She fought back tears, approached him, took his hand, and gently pressed it against her stomach.

“Tell me,” she whispered, “do you want him in your heart?”

Jiang Zhonglin’s hand trembled, and he was rendered speechless.

It seemed he had spoken all he could just moments ago. He could only shake his head hurriedly, then gently again. Surely, every couple who vows to spend their lives together has, at some point, envisioned their future children—dreams that now seemed so distant yet still lingered in their hearts.

He had often imagined it, too.

Every time he was with Yu Yao, he wanted to hold her in his arms and touch her belly. Although she was ticklish and didn’t like him touching her belly, she politely swatted his hand away, but he couldn’t help but touch her every time.

“Do you like boys or girls?” he asked his wife, who was three years older than him, with great caution.

Each time, Yu Yao would casually say, “I won’t have a child. It’s too much trouble.” She straightened up and reprimanded him, “Do you know how difficult it is to be pregnant, Comrade Xiao Jiang? Do you know how painful childbirth is? Have you seen the news recently? The pregnant woman gave birth, her husband refused to sign the operation, and she jumped off the building in pain! And then there was the mother-in-law who was so desperate to have a second child that she died of severe bleeding!”

He said quickly, “I’ll definitely sign it right away. You’re the most important thing. My parents like you more than me, their son. They won’t allow you to have a second child. Otherwise… How about just one?”

Yu Yao pushed him away, “I don’t want any more. Don’t be so sweet. I warn you: If you act so sweet again, I’ll make you impotent.”

He gave her a slightly annoyed look, “But I really want a daughter.”

Yu Yao had something to say now, “I don’t dare have a daughter. Look at the news. There was a girl who was stabbed to death with twelve knives by her ex-boyfriend, another who was cut into several pieces by her husband and hidden undetected at home for several months, and a third who was raped and killed by a taxi driver. Aren’t you afraid something like that will happen to your daughter in the future?”

Now Jiang Zhonglin was really scared. His daughter hadn’t even grown up yet, but he couldn’t help imagining his beloved daughter suffering all kinds of terrible things. His heart was pounding with fear, and he was immersed in the fear of the consequences.

He even thought about whether he should send her daughter to practice if he had one in the future, and it would be best if she could defeat three big men with her bare hands, so that he could feel a little more at ease. But after thinking about it for several days, he finally felt that it was too dangerous.

When he was done with his work next time, he hugged Yu Yao and discussed, “Why don’t we have a son, educate him well, and let him be a person who respects women. If there is one less bad guy in this world, other people’s daughters will be safer. Then maybe our son can have a daughter with peace of mind in the future.”

Yu Yao found his antics amusing, yet she swiftly and decisively withdrew her hand, asserting with unwavering resolve, “I won’t have any.”

He understood that there was no room for negotiation. The child was now growing within Yu Yao’s womb. If she declared she did not want it, then certainly she did not desire to keep it.

With a heavy heart, he could only concede, “Alright, then we won’t have it.”

Beneath his acceptance lay a tinge of disappointment; his deepest wish was to have a little daughter—adorable and sweet—who would grow to call him and Yu Yao “Dad” and “Mom,” strengthening the bond between them.

Once Yu Yao was gone, he believed that dream was forever lost.

Now, when he first learned of Yu Yao’s pregnancy, fleeting joy filled his heart. He envisioned a child bearing a striking resemblance to her, perhaps mirroring her childhood appearance—something he had never seen before. Yet, almost immediately, he dismissed this hope, silencing it within himself.

“No, I’d better not,” he told himself, and he shared the same sentiment with her.

Yu Yao’s voice was resolute as she grasped his hand, her eyes blazing with determination.

“I want him,” she declared firmly, her grip tightening around his fingers. “I will have him, do you hear me?”

Her gaze sharpened with fierce intensity as she continued, “He journeyed with me for forty years—an extraordinary miracle. I will bring him into this world, and you must witness his birth, see him go to school. You need to hold on a little longer.” Her voice softened, tinged with longing, “I want you to stay with me longer… We’ve only shared two years together, married for just one. That’s too fleeting…”

Hot tears traced down Jiang Zhonglin’s hand as she sank to the ground, covering her face with her hands. He felt the dampness in his palm, tears slipping through his fingers.

His eyes fell upon the examination photo on the table—within it, a faint shadow lingered in the center. It was their unborn child, a long-awaited dream yet to come to fruition.

A wave of sadness washed over him, but Yu Yao, cradled in his arms, seemed to bear an even deeper sorrow.

“Stay with me a little longer, until he grows up and remembers you. Then you can leave, you know? Do you hear me?” Her voice choked up.

Jiang Zhonglin finally reached out, embraced her, and rested his forehead on her shoulder.

He couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t say “yes” or “no.” But Yu Yao was extremely stubborn.

Not hearing his answer, she asked again and again, “Will you listen to me?”

“Jiang Zhonglin, listen. Will you listen to what I’m asking you?”

“Will you listen to me? Or will you not?” Her voice was already frantic, mixed with anger and a touch of…fear.

Jiang Zhonglin was filled with bitterness.

He turned his head to the side, took a deep breath, and finally touched Yu Yao’s hair, saying in a trembling voice, “I’m sorry. Let’s keep him, let’s keep him.”

Her whole body went limp, pushed him away, looked into his eyes, and scolded him, crying, “You bastard, you think you’re older than me just by age, so I don’t dare hit you.”

Jiang Zhonglin reflected inwardly, even if you choose not to strike me, I will inevitably be compelled to yield to you in the end.

Gently, he brushed away her tears.

“I recall,” he said softly, “that you once disliked shedding tears.”

Though she seldom wept for herself, these few moments had seen her tears for you, Yu Yao mused silently.

Summoning her courage, she grasped the old man’s hand and bit down fiercely.