You Said You Wanted Us to Break Up - Chapter 45

The man called my name, his face pale.

“Iella.”

I hadn’t said anything wrong, yet his reaction was as if he’d heard something terrible.

Does he pity me?

That thought struck me as I tried to find a reason for his unusual behavior.

The thought that Sioden pitied me didn’t sit well with me. I wasn’t suffering anymore. The fact that we were sitting opposite each other across a table, several plates, and two sets of tableware was proof of that.

Even when Sezna came earlier, I handled it as best I could. Me calling for a knight or mentioning my status to chase her away… I don’t think Sioden would think that’s possible. He knows my position in Raslet, as the family head.

I did my best within the limits of my situation.

Yet Sioden looked at me as if I were someone who chose the worse option even when better ones were available.

I had received such a look before.

“Iella, even if you’re sheltered within the family, it’s good to know what’s happening in the capital.”

Words carelessly thrown out, pretending to be considerate.

“It’s all said for the sake of the lady-in-waiting, so don’t take it amiss.”

The excuse that it was said for my sake was added because he didn’t want to be the bad guy.

Words spoken casually, without even knowing my true situation.

But my words to let bygones be bygones were rational.

Bringing up past events was unnecessary. The emotions and the incidents were all long past, and trying to correct them belatedly wasn’t healing the wounds but rather tearing them open.

But Sioden wouldn’t consider that.

He simply wanted to correct what he considered wrong.

…He didn’t know how that attempt would affect me.

My mouth moved on its own then.

“You did the same thing. You said that even if we investigated, only the evidence that I did it would be clear.”

Immediately after saying that, I gasped.

It wasn’t intentional, but it sounded like I was blaming him, no matter who heard it.

I subtly observed Sioden’s expression. His face was devoid of blood, like he’d encountered a ghost. He seemed quite shocked.

I was surprised as well.

All this time, I had been trying not to speak to Sioden like this.

Sioden had already shown me considerable kindness, so resenting him was unreasonable.

The more I acted like someone without manners or conscience, the more I felt I was no different from my blood relatives.

I belatedly added something to rectify my words.

“What you said back then was right. After all, it would have been something my family did…”

“…Why is Rowen your family?”

Why is Sioden asking that? That question occurred to me, but I didn’t show it outwardly.

“I’m my father’s daughter.”

To Sioden, I was always Capren Rowen’s daughter.

Not only that, everyone in Raslet saw me that way.

Even if it weren’t Raslet but the South, the situation wouldn’t have changed much.

My father had enemies everywhere.

It was paradoxical. My father’s friends could never be my friends, yet my father’s enemies disliked both him and me equally.

But the situation wouldn’t wait for me to understand.

My father’s enemies would always dislike me.

And if I were to list Capren Rowen’s enemies, Sioden’s name would be at the very top.

‘Wherever you go, you can’t escape the family name.’

Iswen’s words were true.

I wasted countless emotions because I couldn’t accept that. I waited for Sioden to listen to me, to see me as a person, not as someone from Rowen.

All those expectations were in vain.

In that sense, Iswen, while having significant personality flaws, couldn’t be called stupid.

‘It means don’t believe that outsiders will fulfill what you desire when even your family can’t.’

At least he understood the situation correctly.

…Although he did suddenly change his mind.

Iswen’s letter, which had been circling my mind lately, came back to me. It was an inappropriate thought for this situation.

I explained to Sioden, who was still silent.

“So, you don’t have to investigate. After all, it must have been something my father did…”

“Iella.”

My name has been called three times already this evening.

Sioden usually only called my name when he was angry, so being called so gently was unusual.

“Do you remember what you said in the past?”

“……”

“You asked if I could believe that a father who loves his daughter was a lie.”

I had said that.

When our relationship was quite good, Sioden was kind to me.

He was usually polite, but when he was kind, he was truly a different person. A small gesture would make my cheeks flush; a single word would keep me up all night.

He was blunt, yet unexpectedly courteous in unforeseen moments, and I had thought he might feel love for me.

People do things they wouldn’t normally do when they’re in love.

Just as I, because I had feelings for him, kept having foolish expectations.

The hope that he might listen to me was also one of those “foolish expectations.”

Now, the man suddenly reached into the fragments of the past, one of those shattered things.

“Is it too late to believe that now?”

☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓 ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓

Raslet Castle, the family head’s office.

Sioden was reviewing the investigation records of the events that had occurred over the past three years.

The amount was too much for him alone, so Rhys and Luke were also present.

But as time passed, the words didn’t register.

He had to review everything by the end of the day; otherwise, it would affect what he had to do tomorrow. He kept having other thoughts.

Sioden wiped his face. The woman’s voice wouldn’t leave his mind.

Iella didn’t say he was late. Instead, she asked back.

‘…Why?’

The woman’s pale face clearly showed her confusion.

‘I don’t understand.’

‘I know you didn’t commit the unfortunate incidents that happened.’

‘But it’s true that Rowen did it.’

And before Sioden could refute, Iella asked,

‘Then what’s the difference between what I did and what happened?’

It wasn’t sharp, but it was a question tinged with self-deprecation.

‘It’s different.’

Iella stared at him silently.

‘If it was something that didn’t involve your will, you shouldn’t be held responsible.’

The slight spasm that crossed the woman’s cheek then was probably resentment towards his belated words.

In that brief moment, Sioden was certain.

Iella doesn’t view this situation positively.

Her reaction was similar when he asked for a chance to correct his mistakes a few days ago.

She never had much affection for him from the start. It was just a moment of curiosity, a night of interest.

There was an opportunity for something more.

‘I’ll wait for spring to come.’

An opportunity he easily let go of.

So it was natural that Iella no longer took his outstretched hand.

Sioden threw his head back. He looked up at the ceiling and wiped his face.

When the meal ended, during which he hadn’t even noticed the food going down, he approached Iella.

“I’ll take you to your room.”

Their conversation didn’t end well. Iella didn’t criticize him for belatedly trying to mend their relationship, nor did she tell him to shut up and leave if he had a conscience—but that was all.

She kept her eyes downcast and remained quiet.

It was impossible to know what thoughts were swirling within her.

That was the reason he offered his hand, saying he’d escort her to her room.

The woman didn’t take his outstretched hand and withdrew.

“My maid is waiting.”

She was more defensive than on the day they first met.

It was natural, considering they had only accumulated bad memories and nothing good, but the lack of certainty that he could make amends made him uneasy.

A voice was heard from outside then.

“Someone has come from the annex.”

The annex was a place where only Iella and her people currently resided.

It was a little early for one of the knights to come for a report.

Perhaps Iella had sent someone. Sioden instructed Rhys, who was looking at him.

“Bring them in.”

The one who entered after the door opened wasn’t a knight who regularly came for reports. Sioden raised one eyebrow.

The knight gave a silent bow and then looked for Luke.

“Mr. Ailac.”

Understanding that the knight’s call meant he had a message, Luke stood up.

After talking with the knight, Luke gathered his overcoat. Sioden looked at the man about to go out. Luke reported to him.

“I’ll go to the annex.”

“Why?”

Luke looked embarrassed. After shifting his eyes awkwardly, he finally told the truth.

“The madam says she has indigestion.”