You Said You Wanted Us to Break Up - Chapter 55

“Are you really okay with not attending the trial?”

Apple asked while checking my belongings.

Since the last time Sioden visited, Apple had organized my items and made a list by category.

It was because of what he had left behind.

“It would be better to move your room to the main building after the trial is over.”

To be honest, it was somewhat bewildering.

Except for the early years of marriage, I had never lived in the main building. The main building contained many important documents related to the family’s secrets, and I… Let’s stop thinking about that. Repeating unpleasant thoughts would only cause me pain.

In any case, my residence had long been solidified in the annex, considering the relationship between Raslet and Rowen, as well as other circumstances.

However, it felt strange to refuse Sioden’s suggestion.

If I was going to stay in Raslet, I shouldn’t cause any disturbances.

‘Disturbances’ included behaviors that might seem peculiar to others. If I were planning to leave… It wouldn’t matter what happened.

Ultimately, the letter I hadn’t sent to Iswen came to mind.

I couldn’t postpone my reply forever, so I did start writing a response to him.

I didn’t know how Iswen would take the content, so I hadn’t sent it yet.

When there was no answer, Apple looked over at me. I nodded late in response to her.

“Yeah.”

Apple seemed to want me to go to the trial, but I had no intention of walking in there on my own. Unless I was forcibly dragged and made to sit.

Still, it didn’t feel good to ignore Apple’s wishes.

I explained to Apple why I couldn’t attend the trial as Sioden suggested.

“Going there won’t do any good. The trial will only have Raslet’s vassals, and none of them like me.”

To put it mildly, there are no people who like me; to be precise, Raslet’s vassals actually disliked me very much. This was a fact proven through Sezna since the day of the wedding.

Sioden called me to a courtroom filled with such people.

He must have made the suggestion without considering the atmosphere, or perhaps he would have gladly accepted it if he were in the same position as me.

He wasn’t the kind of person who lacked consideration, so it was likely closer to the latter. The northern people believed that revenge and punishment were more virtuous than forgiveness. They taught that there was no greater value than witnessing the downfall of one’s enemy.

However, some things require strength and courage just to witness.

These were qualities I certainly did not possess.

I couldn’t even believe that Merwen had allied with Rowen.

She was one of the few who knew that if she stirred up trouble with Rowen, I would end up in a difficult position.

Knowing that, Merwen’s cooperation with Rowen also implied that she deliberately wanted to put me in trouble.

If it had been someone else, I wouldn’t have been shocked. No, I wouldn’t have even been surprised. My own family was always eager to torment me at any opportunity.

But Merwen was different.

“Can I call you Iella?”

She was the only person I had met in Raslet who had been kind to me from the very beginning.

Whenever Merwen saw me, she always greeted me with a bright smile.

And her voice, oh, how it was.

“Don’t take it too personally if Sioden seems cold. Sometimes he can be a bit closed off, but he’s not a bad person.”

Wasn’t she the kindest and most gentle person in the world?

Could it really be that Merwen deliberately put me in a difficult situation?

I couldn’t believe it.

I didn’t want to confirm it with my own eyes.

Some people rush to uncover the truth when something unbelievable happens, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that.

I didn’t want to subject myself to the pain of confirming a situation that would only be more miserable if witnessed firsthand.

In a way, it was a cowardly act. It was no different from avoiding the truth.

“…If I were braver, I might have attended the trial.”

I muttered this without realizing it, and Apple turned to look at me.

“No.”

She put down the journal she had been writing and walked toward me. Her warm brown eyes were fixed on me.

Apple spoke with certainty.

“You are the bravest person I know.”

Sometimes, Apple says such kind things.

I couldn’t relate to it at all.

But I knew that if I contradicted her, she would just repeat the same words endlessly, so I listened quietly as she grumbled softly.

“It’s true.”

It was a statement filled with her determination to somehow revise her assessment of me.

Watching her actions, which were filled with affection even in the smallest ways, made me smile involuntarily. I nodded along with my smile.

“Yeah, thank you.”

Only then did Apple relax her eyes. She wiped her hands with a damp cloth that had been placed on the bedside drawer and opened the drawer. It seemed she was going to apply some ointment.

As she took out the ointment for the scar, Apple said, “If anyone says something nonsensical, please let me know. Now, we can handle it without being discovered.”

The phrase “handle it without being discovered” sounded unique. It was as if she meant to use methods that shouldn’t be made public.

I asked Apple, who was opening the ointment lid, “What do you mean?”

“It means I worked hard while I wasn’t by your side.”

With a vague answer, Apple requested, “Please turn around. I’ll apply the ointment.”

As I adjusted my position as she instructed, Apple untied my clothing strings. Her calloused fingers brushed against the uneven scar that I had grown accustomed to.

A worried voice came from behind me.

“Should we try getting a new ointment? The scar isn’t fading well.”

“That ointment is probably the best one in the North.”

If there had been a more effective ointment, Luke would have brought it to me long ago. It wasn’t because I trusted him; it was just how my life had always been in Raslet.

There wasn’t a single person I could speak my mind to, yet materially, I was never lacking.

Just like in Rowen.

Still, Apple seemed dissatisfied with the ointment’s effectiveness. She said, “There might be another ointment that suits you better.”

“Anyway, it’s not like I’ll be showing my back to anyone.”

Dresses that expose the back were mainly worn in the South.

If I wore clothing that left my back exposed in the North, I might really freeze to death. Sometimes, just having my neck exposed felt chillingly cold.

“You never know.”

I replied like that, and Apple asked worriedly, “Are you cold?” I shook my head at her.

“I’m fine.”

I wasn’t cold, and the remaining scar wasn’t a big deal for Apple to worry about.

Of course, I was upset during the first few days.

I don’t know how it is in the North, but Southern women, especially those of higher status, were averse to having scars on their bodies. Somehow, this perception arose that having a scar meant one was unloved while growing up.

Because of this, my father would punish the servants if there was even a small mark on my skin. He believed that it would tarnish his reputation as someone who cherished his daughter.

No matter how flawless my skin was, it didn’t prove love.

Now, my father was dead.

There was no one left to punish the innocent for the scars on my skin.

Isewen. His name suddenly crossed my mind, but I didn’t delve deeper into it. After all, I was in the North now.

The conclusion was that no one would criticize me for having a scar on my back.

If I wasn’t influenced by anyone around me, I only had to compromise with myself. It wasn’t difficult. A scar wouldn’t turn me into a completely different person.

I had something more precious than any scar.

“Though I have a scar, I’m still alive.”

That’s why I met Apple again.

It wasn’t meant to sound gloomy, but Apple’s hand, which had been stroking my back, paused. In a slightly subdued voice, she said, “You’re right, my lady. I didn’t think it through.”

“Hmm? Not to that extent…”

The idea that a scar was no big deal was just my personal opinion. Apple must have been upset that something she had cared for so much was now gone.

Before I could finish my thought, there was a knock on the door.

A knight spoke from outside.

“A letter has arrived.”

Apple adjusted my clothing and tied the strings, placing the ointment on the dresser.

“Just a moment. I’ll check it.”

After saying that, Apple stepped out of the room and soon returned with an envelope in hand.

As I watched her walk toward the bed where I was sitting, a thought crossed my mind.

“That’s strange. Letters addressed to me are usually brought by Sioden.”

To be precise, it would be correct to say that he checks them before handing them to me.

This had been the case since the early days of our marriage. Most of the letters I received came from Rowen, and in Raslet, everything related to Rowen was handled with caution.

Considering that, it was no wonder Sioden believed my father loved me dearly. After all, how could one doubt the true intentions behind the sweet words filled with Southern sentiment and the luxurious gifts he checked each time?

“Should I ask if the procedure has changed?”

“No, that’s fine.”

Sioden might have had something to do and sent a knight instead, even if he had checked it beforehand.

Apple showed me the envelope. The front bore the seal of Rowen. Since I had no other relationships that would warrant receiving letters, it was an obvious sender.

Perhaps Iswen was getting anxious waiting for a reply and sent a reminder.

Before I could voice that hypothesis, I noticed the scrawled signature on the envelope.

Demian Rowen.

Apple seemed to have seen the same thing, pausing for a moment. She looked down at me with a hint of concern in her eyes, worried about why the prickly Demian would write a letter.

“Are you going to read it now?”

Nodding my head, Apple brought me a letter opener. She peeled off the wax and handed me the envelope.

As I pulled out the paper inside, my hands trembled uncontrollably. I couldn’t even guess what Demian might have said.

Soon, a thunderous revelation caught my eye.