You Said You Wanted Us to Break Up - Chapter 60

 

As I froze at what awaited me, a man’s hand was placed on my shoulder.

Sioden gently led me into the room and said, “I remember you mentioned that playing the organ was a hobby of yours.”

His words were true.

I had once told Sioden that I primarily played the organ in the south. I had shown him how I played and even performed with him, but I had also engaged in other activities outside of that performance.

It felt like a distant memory from a past life.

If there was one thing certain from that long-ago time, it was that I would never again be called to this organ.

It was something Sioden, more than anyone else, would not want.

Yet now, Sioden had personally brought me to stand before this organ.

“I’m sorry to bring you back now.”

With the gentlest voice in the world, he said such things.

I was confused. I turned to him and took a few steps back. The hand that had naturally wrapped around my shoulder fell away.

I noticed a face as confused as mine.

“…Iella?”

Sioden called my name. His deep blue eyes, which looked particularly dark on this shadowy night, were trembling.

It was rare for him to be so flustered.

I tried to accept the situation as rationally as possible. Perhaps Sioden wasn’t trying to torment me. He must have his own circumstances and intentions that I couldn’t have imagined.

But should I understand those intentions?

A sudden question surged within me. Before it could manifest as any form of attack, I stepped back to avoid him.

“…What do you want to say?”

The hand that reached out to me was withdrawn. Sioden stopped, not coming any closer. It seemed he realized that no matter how close our bodies came, our hearts remained distant.

He stood right in front of the door and asked me, “What does it mean?”

I wanted to ask him the same question. What on earth were you thinking when you brought me here?

The man, who had always been enigmatic, now felt so unfamiliar that he was almost frightening.

My vision began to blur. Perhaps it was because we were close enough to sense each other’s presence. After a moment of distance, he approached me again. “Are you okay?” His voice still sounded worryingly gentle as it brushed past my ears.

I completely stepped back to prevent him from touching my cheek. In doing so, I ended up against the organ, the cold metal pressing against my back. A chilling sensation touched my skin. It was a coldness that seeped deep into my bones, as if I had fallen beneath a frozen lake.

Instinctively, I shrank away from the chill. Sioden, who had been approaching me, paused. Before he could say anything that might take control of the situation, I squeezed my throat tight.

“Why are you showing me that?”

* * *

In the early days of our marriage, my relationship with Sioden wasn’t so bad.

He did have his grievances about the marriage.

However, considering that he had been dragged into an unwanted marriage, Sioden was genuinely kind to me.

He didn’t often speak sweetly, but he was considerate in his actions and remembered what I had said.

And sometimes, very rarely…

“I’ve wanted to touch you since the first time I saw you.”

I recalled the sensation of his touch brushing against my ear and cheek. I chose not to dwell on it and buried it beneath my memories.

In any case, what mattered was that we had the opportunity to live like a real couple.

The organ was one of those opportunities.

* * *

At that time, he had not yet entrusted me with the nursery.

However, that didn’t mean Rowen was doing nothing, as I was already living in the annex.

After sending me to the annex due to various unavoidable circumstances, Sioden visited very often. Perhaps thinking it was a bit inappropriate to come empty-handed, he always brought a small gift.

One day he brought new jewelry; another day he came with delicacies gifted by a merchant traveling from the south, such as candied flower petals or colorful scented candles.

Sometimes he would bring beautifully illustrated books, and at other times, he would present expensive paints that were only briefly in fashion in the south, along with art supplies made of gold and ivory.

As those small luxurious items, clearly chosen with me in mind, piled up in my room, it was probably not my fault that I began to develop expectations towards him.

Then one day, Sioden brought a beautiful key adorned with silver and blue gems.

“What is this?”

“I have something to show you.”

He took me across the corridor of the annex.

Before long, we reached a door that was slightly more ornate than the others.

Behind that door was a large and beautiful instrument.

As I couldn’t take my eyes off the grand organ decorated with rubies and silver, Sioden said to me,

“It belonged to my mother. I heard it was brought from her family home.”

Sioden’s mother, the former duchess, was said to be from the capital. In fact, decorating an instrument so elaborately, without hindering its function, was one of the characteristics of the wealthy class in the capital.

The key made of silver and gems was suddenly thrust towards me.

“You said you played the organ in the South, didn’t you? Here’s the key; feel free to play whenever you like.”

The key he handed me was cold. Naturally, it was metal. There was a joke that the only metal not cold in Raslet was the wedding ring I always wore. Of course, it was a joke that did not apply to us.

In the noble society, where remarriages and annulments were frequent according to the family’s interests, wedding rings were typically worn only after the first child was born. Once a child was born, whether one liked it or not, they could not separate, so it was then that the ring, symbolizing complete subjugation to the relationship, was worn.

I took the key and asked,

“Is it really okay to give me something so precious?”

I didn’t know the details, as there was no one to ask, but I had heard that Sioden was quite a devoted son to his mother. The fact that Sezna, a former maid of the duchess, still remained in the castle was evidence of this.

Sioden gazed at me for a moment before turning his eyes back to the front. His cheeks, usually pale, were now flushed.

With a somewhat gruff voice, he said,

“There are two keys, so it doesn’t matter.”

Originally, the previous owner could no longer play it anyway.

The softly added remark was likely more an attempt to hide his blushing than an expression of what he truly wanted to say.

After that, I often played the beautiful organ.

Sioden came to watch me play every day. Sometimes he seemed to recognize certain pieces, which I found quite fascinating, as the pieces I played were all familiar in the south.

One day, after noticing that he knew a piece typically practiced only by beginners, I mustered the courage to ask how he had learned it. It would have been understandable if it were a technically challenging piece I had played before, but a beginner’s piece would not have been something he would hear at a concert.

After several days of wondering about it, I finally asked, and Sioden answered easily.

“I learned how to play the organ.”

“How interesting.”

As soon as I said it, I realized it might sound bad, so I added an explanation of why I felt that way.

“There aren’t any men around me who play the organ.”

The only men around me were Iswen, Demian, and Aiden. Aiden merely regarded music appreciation as something to be conscious of due to his status and found it boring. Iswen spent most of his time on martial training, and as for Demian… Just getting him to sit in front of the performance stage would cost three times the lesson fee for a music teacher.

Still, playing the organ was not a refinement imposed solely on women.

It was said that in the previous generation, men learned instruments just as much as women did.

“I heard it was once fashionable. They thought men who could play instruments were delicate and kind-hearted.”

That trend, which had existed about twenty years ago, completely vanished with the rise of the new emperor. Instead, a preference for physical attractiveness took its place. It was not surprising; there are no eternally burning embers, and waves are erased by new ones.

As I played, Sioden, who stood behind me watching, said,

“I’ve heard a similar story.”

“From whom?”

“My mother.”

He fell silent for a moment before adding,

“I also learned how to play the organ from her.”

Sioden rarely mentioned his parents.

I was the same. My mother, the second Duchess of Rowen, had passed away early, leaving my father as the only parent I had left. I couldn’t speak of my father in front of Sioden.

Even if Sioden didn’t care about such things, I wouldn’t have been able to say anything.

There was nothing I could say about my father that would be better left unsaid.

Not knowing how to respond to such a rarely discussed topic, I glanced at Sioden, and he looked down at me.

“Don’t take it seriously. If someone claims to be kind-hearted just because they can play the keys, don’t listen to them; just let it go.”

His words had a subtly gruff tone.

But just a moment ago, he had told me that he could play the organ as well.

“I think there’s some truth to that…”

Even though I muttered it softly, Sioden’s eyebrows twitched. It seemed like an expression of discontent about something.

As I pressed the keys, almost missing the scale while trying to read his mood, I said as casually as possible, “You can play too, right?”

“…”

“I think you’re kind-hearted enough. You’re delicate too…”

When I finally stammered those words, I was grateful that I had been looking down at the keys all this time.

I could feel that my face must be flushed red without even looking in a mirror.

It was then that the man, who had been silently observing my embarrassment, softly called my name.

“Iella.”

“Yes, yes?”

I reflexively lifted my head toward the sound.

A large figure sat down beside me. Just as his shadow fell over me, my heart jolted. Without realizing it, I turned my upper body toward his left. My left hand naturally slipped off the keys.

Sioden leaned his head toward me. Soon, I felt his hand, with its prominent knuckles, cup my cheek.

Before I could even ponder what this contact meant, our lips met.

YWBU Chapter 60

As I froze at what awaited me, a man’s hand was placed on my shoulder.

Sioden gently led me into the room and said, “I remember you mentioned that playing the organ was a hobby of yours.”

His words were true.

I had once told Sioden that I primarily played the organ in the south. I had shown him how I played and even performed with him, but I had also engaged in other activities outside of that performance.

It felt like a distant memory from a past life.

If there was one thing certain from that long-ago time, it was that I would never again be called to this organ.

It was something Sioden, more than anyone else, would not want.

Yet now, Sioden had personally brought me to stand before this organ.

“I’m sorry to bring you back now.”

With the gentlest voice in the world, he said such things.

I was confused. I turned to him and took a few steps back. The hand that had naturally wrapped around my shoulder fell away.

I noticed a face as confused as mine.

“…Iella?”

Sioden called my name. His deep blue eyes, which looked particularly dark on this shadowy night, were trembling.

It was rare for him to be so flustered.

I tried to accept the situation as rationally as possible. Perhaps Sioden wasn’t trying to torment me. He must have his own circumstances and intentions that I couldn’t have imagined.

But should I understand those intentions?

A sudden question surged within me. Before it could manifest as any form of attack, I stepped back to avoid him.

“…What do you want to say?”

The hand that reached out to me was withdrawn. Sioden stopped, not coming any closer. It seemed he realized that no matter how close our bodies came, our hearts remained distant.

He stood right in front of the door and asked me, “What does it mean?”

I wanted to ask him the same question. What on earth were you thinking when you brought me here?

The man, who had always been enigmatic, now felt so unfamiliar that he was almost frightening.

My vision began to blur. Perhaps it was because we were close enough to sense each other’s presence. After a moment of distance, he approached me again. “Are you okay?” His voice still sounded worryingly gentle as it brushed past my ears.

I completely stepped back to prevent him from touching my cheek. In doing so, I ended up against the organ, the cold metal pressing against my back. A chilling sensation touched my skin. It was a coldness that seeped deep into my bones, as if I had fallen beneath a frozen lake.

Instinctively, I shrank away from the chill. Sioden, who had been approaching me, paused. Before he could say anything that might take control of the situation, I squeezed my throat tight.

“Why are you showing me that?”

* * *

In the early days of our marriage, my relationship with Sioden wasn’t so bad.

He did have his grievances about the marriage.

However, considering that he had been dragged into an unwanted marriage, Sioden was genuinely kind to me.

He didn’t often speak sweetly, but he was considerate in his actions and remembered what I had said.

And sometimes, very rarely…

“I’ve wanted to touch you since the first time I saw you.”

I recalled the sensation of his touch brushing against my ear and cheek. I chose not to dwell on it and buried it beneath my memories.

In any case, what mattered was that we had the opportunity to live like a real couple.

The organ was one of those opportunities.

* * *

At that time, he had not yet entrusted me with the nursery.

However, that didn’t mean Rowen was doing nothing, as I was already living in the annex.

After sending me to the annex due to various unavoidable circumstances, Sioden visited very often. Perhaps thinking it was a bit inappropriate to come empty-handed, he always brought a small gift.

One day he brought new jewelry; another day he came with delicacies gifted by a merchant traveling from the south, such as candied flower petals or colorful scented candles.

Sometimes he would bring beautifully illustrated books, and at other times, he would present expensive paints that were only briefly in fashion in the south, along with art supplies made of gold and ivory.

As those small luxurious items, clearly chosen with me in mind, piled up in my room, it was probably not my fault that I began to develop expectations towards him.

Then one day, Sioden brought a beautiful key adorned with silver and blue gems.

“What is this?”

“I have something to show you.”

He took me across the corridor of the annex.

Before long, we reached a door that was slightly more ornate than the others.

Behind that door was a large and beautiful instrument.

As I couldn’t take my eyes off the grand organ decorated with rubies and silver, Sioden said to me,

“It belonged to my mother. I heard it was brought from her family home.”

Sioden’s mother, the former duchess, was said to be from the capital. In fact, decorating an instrument so elaborately, without hindering its function, was one of the characteristics of the wealthy class in the capital.

The key made of silver and gems was suddenly thrust towards me.

“You said you played the organ in the South, didn’t you? Here’s the key; feel free to play whenever you like.”

The key he handed me was cold. Naturally, it was metal. There was a joke that the only metal not cold in Raslet was the wedding ring I always wore. Of course, it was a joke that did not apply to us.

In the noble society, where remarriages and annulments were frequent according to the family’s interests, wedding rings were typically worn only after the first child was born. Once a child was born, whether one liked it or not, they could not separate, so it was then that the ring, symbolizing complete subjugation to the relationship, was worn.

I took the key and asked,

“Is it really okay to give me something so precious?”

I didn’t know the details, as there was no one to ask, but I had heard that Sioden was quite a devoted son to his mother. The fact that Sezna, a former maid of the duchess, still remained in the castle was evidence of this.

Sioden gazed at me for a moment before turning his eyes back to the front. His cheeks, usually pale, were now flushed.

With a somewhat gruff voice, he said,

“There are two keys, so it doesn’t matter.”

Originally, the previous owner could no longer play it anyway.

The softly added remark was likely more an attempt to hide his blushing than an expression of what he truly wanted to say.

After that, I often played the beautiful organ.

Sioden came to watch me play every day. Sometimes he seemed to recognize certain pieces, which I found quite fascinating, as the pieces I played were all familiar in the south.

One day, after noticing that he knew a piece typically practiced only by beginners, I mustered the courage to ask how he had learned it. It would have been understandable if it were a technically challenging piece I had played before, but a beginner’s piece would not have been something he would hear at a concert.

After several days of wondering about it, I finally asked, and Sioden answered easily.

“I learned how to play the organ.”

“How interesting.”

As soon as I said it, I realized it might sound bad, so I added an explanation of why I felt that way.

“There aren’t any men around me who play the organ.”

The only men around me were Iswen, Demian, and Aiden. Aiden merely regarded music appreciation as something to be conscious of due to his status and found it boring. Iswen spent most of his time on martial training, and as for Demian… Just getting him to sit in front of the performance stage would cost three times the lesson fee for a music teacher.

Still, playing the organ was not a refinement imposed solely on women.

It was said that in the previous generation, men learned instruments just as much as women did.

“I heard it was once fashionable. They thought men who could play instruments were delicate and kind-hearted.”

That trend, which had existed about twenty years ago, completely vanished with the rise of the new emperor. Instead, a preference for physical attractiveness took its place. It was not surprising; there are no eternally burning embers, and waves are erased by new ones.

As I played, Sioden, who stood behind me watching, said,

“I’ve heard a similar story.”

“From whom?”

“My mother.”

He fell silent for a moment before adding,

“I also learned how to play the organ from her.”

Sioden rarely mentioned his parents.

I was the same. My mother, the second Duchess of Rowen, had passed away early, leaving my father as the only parent I had left. I couldn’t speak of my father in front of Sioden.

Even if Sioden didn’t care about such things, I wouldn’t have been able to say anything.

There was nothing I could say about my father that would be better left unsaid.

Not knowing how to respond to such a rarely discussed topic, I glanced at Sioden, and he looked down at me.

“Don’t take it seriously. If someone claims to be kind-hearted just because they can play the keys, don’t listen to them; just let it go.”

His words had a subtly gruff tone.

But just a moment ago, he had told me that he could play the organ as well.

“I think there’s some truth to that…”

Even though I muttered it softly, Sioden’s eyebrows twitched. It seemed like an expression of discontent about something.

As I pressed the keys, almost missing the scale while trying to read his mood, I said as casually as possible, “You can play too, right?”

“…”

“I think you’re kind-hearted enough. You’re delicate too…”

When I finally stammered those words, I was grateful that I had been looking down at the keys all this time.

I could feel that my face must be flushed red without even looking in a mirror.

It was then that the man, who had been silently observing my embarrassment, softly called my name.

“Iella.”

“Yes, yes?”

I reflexively lifted my head toward the sound.

A large figure sat down beside me. Just as his shadow fell over me, my heart jolted. Without realizing it, I turned my upper body toward his left. My left hand naturally slipped off the keys.

Sioden leaned his head toward me. Soon, I felt his hand, with its prominent knuckles, cup my cheek.

Before I could even ponder what this contact meant, our lips met.