You Said You Wanted Us to Break Up - Chapter 74

When I returned to the bedroom after finishing dinner, Apple was awake and waiting for me.

“My lady.”

She, who had been restlessly pacing with a pale face, came over to me.

“My lady, I’m sorry. I…”

Just as Apple was about to bow her head with an unnecessary apology, I wrapped my arms around her.

Apple’s body stiffened, clearly surprised.

“My lady? ”

Without releasing her, who called me in confusion, I informed her of the result I had obtained from my meeting with Sioden moments ago.

“I got permission to go out!”

* * *

There were two things I considered when choosing what to ask Sioden for.

First, that it would be helpful to Apple

Second, that it wouldn’t raise suspicion.

If there was something I had to give up in order to get something from him, Apple would be upset, so it couldn’t be a big enough matter for Sioden to demand a price.

Weighing several options, I asked him for permission to go out. I didn’t think it would raise suspicion since I had expressed curiosity about the outside of the castle before, and I thought that if I were moving around, Apple going in and out wouldn’t be as noticeable.

Fortunately, my prediction was largely correct.

“I want to go out now.”

Sioden accepted my request calmly.

“Is that so?”

Although he twitched one eyebrow, it was closer to a non-verbal expression of paying attention to the conversation than one of suspicion.

“Yes, but I don’t want to draw attention.”

When I hinted that I didn’t want interference, Sioden answered dispassionately.

“I will ensure there is no commotion.”

This was likely his way of saying he would handle things well on his end.

However, I needed concrete assurance more than just his word.

“Um, I heard that you need to get an out-pass to enter and leave the castle…”

I learned this by observing Apple going in and out of the castle: to leave the castle, one had to write down a brief motive and return time on a ledger. Only then would a certificate be issued, and that certificate was required to re-enter the castle.

I let my sentence trail off and observed Sioden’s reaction. He still looked calm. Although he had a slightly sharper impression than usual due to being a bit thinner, he didn’t seem to doubt my words.

Fortunately, Sioden soon gave me the answer I wanted.

“You do not have to do that.”

Before I could respond, he added,

“If you have a companion, that person may also go out comfortably, including with you. You do not need to seek permission.”

If that were the case, Apple wouldn’t need to get an outpass anymore either.

Just as I was feeling relieved that what I had hoped for was accomplished easily, a thought occurred to me: the matter had been resolved too easily.

My wishes had rarely been fulfilled so easily before. The same was true for Sioden granting my requests.

But today, Sioden had consented to my request too readily.

Was there a loophole? A sudden wave of anxiety arose.

Whenever I got involved with Sioden, things would seem to go well, only to get twisted instantly.

Sioden looked puzzled that I didn’t seem happy despite him giving me the answer I wanted, and he asked,

“Is there anything else you want to say?”

“…What if something bad happens?”

Sioden narrowed his brows slightly. He seemed not to have fully understood my words.

I conveyed the thought that had just occurred to me as calmly as possible.

“What if a crime occurs like before and the culprit is thought to be me…”

Sioden cut me off before I could finish expressing my concern.

“That will not happen.”

In some respects, the voice sounded resolute.

However, our past was too complicated to take those words at face value.

“How can you be so sure? I’m not trying to doubt you, but… things between you and me have never gone well.”

Sioden flinched, as if he hadn’t anticipated that answer.

It then occurred to me that my words might have been too blunt. I hadn’t intended it, but from his perspective, it probably felt like an attack.

But I didn’t know how to package my sincerity nicely. Hadn’t the carefully chosen expressions I used to avoid offending Sioden only ended up triggering our conflicts?

I am tired of that now.

Rather than feeling stifled while choosing my words and then being hurt by the sharp reply that came back, I preferred to just be honest. Even if our relationship became uncomfortable because of it, I didn’t care.

We wouldn’t have to see each other anymore anyway. I just had to endure it until I left for Emerta.

Sioden was silent for a moment before he spoke.

“I will assign a guard to you.”

“Excuse me…?”

“He will not be assigned to watch you, so feel free to dismiss him if you wish. However, if an incident occurs, he will vouch for your innocence.”

But, as he said, to prove my innocence, I would have to have the guard knight with me all day.

Perhaps it would be better to risk the suspicion than do that.

As I quietly weighed the two conditions in my mind, a calm voice spoke from across the table.

“It doesn’t have to be a guard assigned by me; you may bring any knight you are inclined to accompany you.”

What did he mean by that?

As if he had read my thoughts, Sioden explained dispassionately.

“From now on, no matter what incident occurs, it will be handled on the premise that you are innocent, so you don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

* * *

Later, as expected, the dinner that no one paid attention to ended, and as we were about to part, Sioden told me,

“No matter what happens in this land, it is not your fault; it is my responsibility.”

“…”

“I have been incompetent and failed to fulfill my responsibilities until now.”

It seemed like an additional explanation because he thought I might not have believed his statement.

Honestly, the added words didn’t resonate much. I didn’t think he was lying, but a person’s sincerity can change depending on the situation.

However, there was less than a month left until spring was in full swing.

The number of days I would need to go out during that month would be even fewer.

It didn’t seem likely that something major enough to cause him to suspect me and initiate an investigation would happen in such a short time.

Still dazed, I buried myself in Apple’s embrace, who was hugging me back, and happily murmured,

“I don’t have to get an outpass.”

“…”

“When we go out, I’ll pretend to sightsee or buy things. Everyone will be paying attention to me, so you’ll receive less notice.”

If we brought one more attendant who wasn’t Apple, we could conceal the real purpose of the outing even more perfectly.

Suddenly, I remembered that Apple had run into trouble meeting Luke today.

“Even if we run into Mr. Ailac again, I can just keep him occupied.”

Apple called my name in a trembling voice.

“My lady.”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry, my lady, for my lack of ability…”

“No.”

Apple didn’t have to think like that.

To begin with, the one who needed to be competent between her and me was ‘me,’ and I hadn’t gone to meet Sioden with that in mind.

“I just… wanted to do something for you too.”

We had only each other. That was true in Rowen, and it was true in Raslet.

Apple had always done her best to protect me.

So now, I wanted to return the same to her.

Apple embraced me a little tighter with her arms without saying a word.

We held each other for a long time that day.

* * *

The next day, the guard Sioden had promised to assign came to meet me.

“My name is Jed Winn.”

The taciturn, large man was a face I had seen once before.

“His Excellency will definitely come for you. So…”

Jed was the knight who had tried to instill confidence in me about Sioden when I was sent to Ethel Territory.

At that time, I had tried to believe his words.

One could say it wasn’t a fruitless attempt. After all, just as Jed had said, Sioden had come to find me.

Though looking back now, it was an effort that didn’t have to be made.

Now, the nights I was so excited I couldn’t sleep over Shioden’s slightest gesture, and the nights I spent in tears over a single word, all felt as distant as a past life.

No matter what I did, I would never return to that time.

Soon after Jed arrived, we immediately set an itinerary to go out.

Sioden had said I could enter and leave the castle without a reason, but just in case, I let it be known that we were going out for a stroll. Fortunately, Sioden, who must have heard the news, did not react in any particular way.

When the day we finally planned to go out arrived, Apple wrapped me in my warmest clothes.

Having stepped outside the castle, I held hands with her and walked toward where the carriage was waiting. Although the weather was still characteristic of Raslet with its cold winds, it felt as though the scent of spring was mixed in for the first time.

Apple, holding my hand tightly, tilted her head toward me.

“Today, I’ll receive the payment and go find a merchant who owns a ship.”

She whispered quietly.

“Then we can put down a deposit and look into the ship tickets.”

My heart naturally thumped at her words.

Just as I parted my lips to express this excitement to Apple, I heard a familiar voice from behind.

“Iella.”

I turned around to see Sioden looking at me from a short distance away.