You Said You Wanted Us to Break Up - Chapter 75

Did my startled reaction show?

Sioden explained himself the moment I turned around.

“I didn’t intend to startle you.”

He slowly approached me and said,

“Since it’s your first outing, I wanted to see you off. If it was uncomfortable, I will be careful not to let the same thing happen next time.”

He kept his gaze lowered, as if he were someone who was overly concerned with others’ feelings.

His actions made me want to ask when we started attaching meaning to things like this, but I was about to leave. I didn’t want to get hung up on a small detail.

Hiding Apple behind me, I chose the most neutral answer.

“No, it’s alright.”

After saying it, I thought it might be misinterpreted by the listener. To prevent future awkwardness, I added,

“Bu-but, of course, you don’t need to come out next time.”

Sioden paused slightly at my words but soon nodded.

“Is that so.”

His tone was calm, so he didn’t seem offended. Indeed, he wasn’t Demian, so he wouldn’t throw a tantrum asking why I was deciding his actions.

Sioden looked down at me in silence. Eventually, he spoke.

“The wind is cold, so I hope you don’t stay outdoors for too long.”

I was momentarily speechless at yet another comment that didn’t suit our relationship. Did that make me look like I hadn’t understood him? Sioden explained the intention behind his words.

“It hasn’t been long since you recovered from your sickness.”

So, although I didn’t know how my sickness was related to him, it was better not to bring up such a discussion. I nodded to show I had heard his advice clearly.

“I’ll be careful.”

It seemed Sioden had more to say.

“If there is anything you need, please tell me.”

He repeated the request he had made similarly several times before.

“I will grant it without making a personal judgment. So…”

Before his words could draw out any further, I affirmed.

“I understand.”

“…”

“I know what you are saying, but I really want to leave now…”

Apple, the coachman, and the knight were all waiting for me.

As he said, the wind was cold, and I didn’t want to make people suffer.

Sioden flinched once more, but this time, he also did not show any extreme change in emotion.

“I understand.”

He replied dispassionately and bade me farewell.

“Have a good trip.”

I nodded to him and turned my back. I did not look back at Raslet Castle until the carriage, which I had climbed into with the help of the knight, departed.

* * *

The small figure, well wrapped in fur, entered the carriage. The carriage carrying its mistress departed shortly after. Sioden watched her disappearing figure in silence.

Until he spoke to see her off, Iella, who had been chatting merrily and smiling brightly with her attendant, had an anxious expression the moment she turned to face him.

Facing her, Sioden subconsciously scanned the woman’s eyes and the corners of her mouth. He wanted to capture any lingering fragment of her smile. As if to mock his unconscionable greed, the only thing he could read on Iella’s face was tension.

As he mentally dissected her aversion, Luke approached him.

“Your Excellency, I have something to tell you.”

There was a report he was already expecting to hear from him. Luke only spoke after they reached his office, where there were no listening ears.

“I’ve confirmed that Ethel’s heir is contacting other vassals.”

After confining the vassals, including Merwen, to their respective territories, Sioden had been gathering evidence of their collusion. It was a task he undertook knowing it would succeed.

“She’s lived her entire life without being punished; she ought to have a novel experience before her end.”

Merwen wanted to kill all the elders, including Lupid. She had a goal whose motive and true meaning were incomprehensible to him. She would not spare her own life to achieve that goal.

‘I know you wanted to die.’

The image of the woman pointing out the window of the tower without hesitation came to mind.

‘Instead of continuing to live a life worse than death, let’s jump together.’

Her suggestion didn’t have a big impact. However, it served as solid evidence of her mental illness.

Afterward, Sioden began to investigate what happened between Merwen and Lerox. The Earl and Countess of Ethel died when their daughter was seven, but Merwen entered the castle just before she turned nine.

He sensed that something was hidden in that gap of over a year.

The investigation was not to find out why Merwen was mad.

In the North, finding someone sane was harder. Merwen was no exception.

The reason he was digging through past records was to ensure there were no missing pieces in the investigation file. Even that was merely a secondary compulsion; the truly important thing was finding a justifiable reason to cut off her head.

Now, the conditions for execution were perfectly met. Sioden commanded Luke, who was awaiting his answer.

“The execution will be carried out before the weather completely warms up. Prepare for it accordingly.”

“Yes.”

His superior seemed to have no further business and was about to rise from his seat. Before he could completely leave, Luke spoke.

“There is something else I need to tell you.”

His superior looked back at him. When the man’s deep blue eyes turned towards him, Luke swallowed dryly. He knew that this topic was sensitive.

But he could not let it pass unmentioned.

“I’m referring to the attendant the madam keeps by her side. Given her past activities, it might be better not to grant her unconditional permission to go out.”

His superior offered no reply. Luke spoke with a bit more emphasis.

“You know, Your Excellency. She previously had contact with ‘them.'”

Sioden, who must have been briefed on Apple Leta’s two years spent outside the castle to the extent that Luke knew, said nothing.

Luke glanced at his reaction nervously.

“Are you disinclined?”

Disinclined?

Of course, he was. It was obvious how much Iella would hate it if he interfered with her attendant.

It was already plain to see that she was extremely anxious that her attendant might be taken away again.

Sioden did not want to leave such a trace of anxiety on the woman again.

Therefore, he could not heed Luke’s words. He replied calmly.

“I assigned a guard to her.”

“That may not be enough.”

He knew what Luke was saying without needing to hear more. With slight annoyance, Sioden said,

“I do not want to watch her.”

“I am not suggesting surveillance. But she must continue to live with the Madam, mustn’t she? To prevent future complications…”

“Stop.”

Sioden raised his hand, cutting off his friend’s words.

He understood that Luke was saying this out of consideration for him.

But there was a fundamental contradiction in his statement.

Sioden asked the man, who was looking at him with tension.

“Does Iella endure me anymore?”

Luke had no answer. Sioden spoke again to the person who had witnessed the same thing he had.

“You saw her back that day.”

“…”

“What woman in the world would want a husband who can’t even protect her own body?”

It was a fact that anyone with a brain could naturally deduce, but Luke did not readily agree.

“How is that Your Excellency’s fault?”

“If it’s not my fault, then whose?”

Luke faltered, perhaps not expecting him to counter-question.

But Sioden couldn’t understand why he would even say such a thing.

“If what happened to her isn’t my fault, then whose fault is it, exactly?”

* * *

“We’ve considered revenge to be the greatest virtue until now.”

His superior said. Luke detected the disillusionment layered within the low voice.

“Think about it through the lens of that glorious value system inherited from our ancestors. If you were her, what would you have thought? Wouldn’t you have wanted to throw this entire house at the feet of your enemy?”

“Your Excellency.”

“But Iella said nothing.”

The man twisted one corner of his mouth. It was a look close to self-mockery.

“It’s the only thing she wishes for, isn’t it? What if, one day, she says she can’t endure me anymore and asks to be sent away?”

His superior lowered his gaze. He muttered in a strained voice.

“I can’t stop her.”

Luke saw the despair that flashed across the man’s face. A question abruptly rose in his mind.

Is there a reason to stop her?

Luke didn’t place much significance on marriage. Wasn’t it just a transaction chosen by parties with compatible conditions to avoid greater loss?

Of course, he knew his superior didn’t calculate profit and loss when dealing with his wife.

His superior had never expected such things from his own marriage from the start. Since he had clearly held the same values before, it must be that the person was special enough to change his very thoughts.

However, his superior had already suffered more than enough loss.

Now, Luke thought it was time for the man to regain a sense of reality.

Yet, the reason his thoughts did not emerge was that he already knew what his superior’s reality was.

“When I become an adult, there is a goal I’ve thought about achieving.”

Because of what the boy who carried him on his back over the wall in the faint dawn when they were still young had once said.

“It’s the only thing in my life that I can achieve without effort.”

It was the most vague-sounding statement that had ever come from his superior’s mouth. Yet, even drenched in intoxication, Luke immediately understood the meaning.

His superior had closely observed the castle walls multiple times before.

Only one contemplating a fall calculates the height.

A cold instruction fell over Luke’s head, who was unable to speak.

“Keep your mouth shut about whatever Iella does. I will keep watch from my end to ensure nothing dangerous happens, so don’t interfere, and leave her be. I mean this for others, not just you.”

It meant not to investigate through Rhys or the other knights either.

Luke hesitated. His superior, who clearly knew what he was thinking, commanded again.

“Don’t make me say it twice.”

There was no disobeying his superior’s command. Luke finally bowed his head.

“Yes.”