You Said You Wanted Us to Break Up - Chapter 87

If they had passed the outer wall, it wouldn’t take more than a few hours to reach the main castle. Nevertheless, Iswen’s party did not enter the castle immediately.

The attendant who had replaced Apple explained the reason.

“They say the inspection will delay them by about a day.”

The girl who used to attend to me when Apple was away from the castle is now my exclusive attendant. This was because the maids who came from Rowen had either been involved in various crimes or had been sent back to their original families after the rebellion.

When I didn’t respond, the new maid, who had been brushing my hair, quietly organized the comb and perfumed oil. Hearing the clattering sound, I lay down on the bed.

From behind my back, where I was lying on my side, the maid asked.

“Shall I apply the medicine for you? Miss Leta said that…”

“No, thank you.”

The medicine the maid was referring to was the scar ointment that Apple had meticulously taken care of.

Apple must have specifically requested it. A few such things were noticeable in the new maid’s actions. Lighting the scented candle late at night, the sequence for brushing and braiding my hair, the temperature of the lukewarm washing water, and the fragrance in it—things that were originally Apple’s habits.

Every time I felt Apple’s traces in someone who wasn’t her, it was excruciating. Apple herself wasn’t by my side, yet everything she left behind was solely concerned with my well-being.

The new maid was silent. She was probably looking at me with a bewildered expression. I had seen her make that expression several times.

Since Apple left the castle, the maid had been quite troubled by the fact that I lay in bed all day. Then, if our eyes met, she would immediately smile as if nothing was wrong, but I wasn’t so foolish as not to notice what lay beneath that pretense.

Sioden might even try to pry information out of her. After all, he had come all the way to my bedroom door before.

* * *

That day was when a different doctor, not Ailac, knocked on my room door.

The doctor was someone Sioden had sent. Perhaps bothered by the fact that I had put a paralyzing sleeping draught in his mouth to deceive him, Sioden even went to the trouble of specially sending a doctor.

Yet, that was nothing compared to him, who had swallowed two sugar preserves heavily soaked in the sleeping draught.

I didn’t let the doctor into the room. The sleeping draught, which I had only briefly held in my mouth, had no effect on me.

Knowing full well since he had swallowed the same thing, Sioden still came to my bedroom door. And instead of urging me to open the door, he started speaking from beyond it.

“I heard you didn’t see the doctor.”

It was a quiet evening all around, so his voice was perfectly audible.

Audible enough to be ignored even when I buried my head in the pillow and covered myself with the blanket.

“Pull down the canopy.”

At my words, the maid, who had been looking around nervously inside the room, quickly untied the cords holding up the velvet.

But the sound continued to be heard.

“If I bother you, I will stay out of your way so you don’t have to worry about me.”

Where to? All of Raslet’s land is his. So where exactly did he intend to go to be out of the way?

As long as I was in Raslet, I was effectively tied to Sioden. Just as my father had dragged me around in Rowen, Sioden could treat me the same way if he wanted to.

Of course, he wouldn’t do that. There is a difference in character between people. My deceased father, though he looked human, behaved inhumanely. Sioden wouldn’t be that bad.

Even as I was spacing out and thinking other thoughts, Sioden’s words continued.

“I’ve heard that staying in the bedroom for too long is not good for your health, even without the medication. So…”

I buried my head deeper into the pillow. Still, the sound persisted.

“Iella, please…”

Finally, unable to bear it any longer, I instructed the maid, who was nervously watching from one side of the room.

“Go and tell Duke Raslet to return now.”

Sioden quietly disappeared at that single instruction.

The maid, who had returned after facing him, said,

“He said he was sorry for causing you discomfort.”

By all appearances, I was the one being rude right now, yet the words contained not a single trace of resentment.

A question suddenly occurred to me.

Had I ever held such an advantage anywhere? Had anyone ever been this considerate of my mood?

All this time, I had tried to act in a way that wouldn’t offend anyone. Even with such effort, things to be criticized still arose, so it was self-censorship that went far beyond the realm of choice.

Now, I had thrown all of that aside. Yet, the sky hadn’t fallen, and no one was criticizing me.

It was a right I hadn’t possessed before. Nevertheless, my mood was as wretched as it had been back then. It was natural.

I hadn’t earned any of this.

This situation could never have existed if Sioden hadn’t reversed his attitude.

The advantage he ‘provided’ could be overturned at his will at any time.

That was the reason I had to send Apple out of the castle, and it was a truth from which I could never return to before I realized it, no matter what I did.

* * *

Finishing my recollection, I spoke to the maid who was still waiting by the bed.

“You don’t need to continue bringing the ointment. It’s useless anyway.”

I felt sorry for Apple, who had been so caring, but the scar on my back would not disappear.

Most of all, I no longer wanted to try to give the impression of being loved.

It was the only resistance I could offer in a world where my value, no matter how high it rose, would only serve as a medal for the person who sold me off.

The next day, when Iswen was scheduled to arrive, I woke up early in the morning and prepared to go out. As Apple had instructed, I ate my meal and dressed warmly. She would be upset if I caught a cold while going out to meet Iswen.

Of course, Apple was in a situation where she wouldn’t know if I got sick, but I intended to stop doing things that would cause her pain if she did know.

Just as I finished preparing, Sioden coincidentally came to find me.

“The Duke of Rowen will arrive at the castle shortly.”

He spoke from beyond the door as before.

“If you don’t wish to meet him, I will handle it on my side.”

The maid who had just finished braiding my hair looked at me through the mirror. Her gaze was waiting for me to relay my instructions.

Instead of treating her like a messenger pigeon, I gestured toward the fur coat near the fireplace. The maid, who knew how to attend even if she wasn’t as familiar with me as Apple, immediately retrieved it and draped it around me.

Finally, after making sure to put on the gloves that Apple always helped me with, I opened the bedroom door.

“There’s no need for that.”

Sioden, who was beyond the door, looked down at me with surprise. His dark, deep-sea blue eyes wavered. Iella. I heard the sound of him calling my name, but I didn’t answer and walked down the corridor. Seeing that Sioden was already in his outdoor attire, Iswen’s carriage must have been ‘very soon’ to arrive at Raslet Castle.

Despite being openly ignored, Sioden followed behind me without a single complaint.

“You’ve lost a lot of weight. I know you’re distressed, but your meals…”

“If you don’t mind, could we proceed in silence?”

Sioden was silent for a moment, then apologized.

“I didn’t mean to bother you.”

I’m sorry. The apology, which I had heard so frequently lately, followed again.

Was he truly sorry to me? The first day I heard his apology, I realized Sioden was hoping for something.

What Sioden desired was an improvement in our relationship.

That is not for my benefit.

It means his wish is to get along well with me, not mine.

Therefore, Sioden’s apology was solely for himself. But can he truly be said to feel ‘sorry’?

Ignoring this fact that was utterly useless to consider now, I conveyed what I had thought of the day before.

“Charge Iswen for the cost of the Glasyr used because of me. Since he insists that I must return to Rowen, if that claim is sincere, he will somehow take responsibility for it.”

If not, at least I could cut off one side, either my family or my husband.

The fact that Iswen and Demian want to take me to the South means they consider me a person of Rowen.

If I become a person of Rowen, then the deceased Glasyr also becomes Rowen’s responsibility.

If they don’t want to take responsibility for that, they won’t bring up going to the South again.

Even so, the fact that I have to remain in Raslet doesn’t change, but being able to drive out either Demian or Iswen from my life was not a loss.

So, it would be good if he would cooperate willingly, but Sioden flatly refused my request.

“That will not happen.”

“…”

“Consider that tree to have been yours.”

But what do I own in Raslet?

Thinking of a rebuttal I wouldn’t voice, I stepped out the castle gate, where two carriages were just approaching. Both bore the Rowen seal, a white lily of the valley, and the one in front was larger and more extravagant, so it must belong to the head of the family.

When the carriage stopped, the knight escorting it dismounted from his horse. The knight opened the carriage door and extended a hand inside.

Someone took that hand and stepped down onto the snowy ground. Clothes covering him entirely up to the neck. A fastidiously neat appearance. Silver hair that was similarly flawless. A height as tall as a knight.

It was Iswen.

When he looked my way, our gazes met in the air. A face frighteningly similar to my father’s when he was young, including the gold eyes that didn’t hide his cold-blooded nature, was directed at me.

Still wearing a face that made me tense, Iswen approached me.

Calling my name with his lips.

“Iella.”

His gait was somewhat odd. Like someone trying to force balance, holding a long staff in one hand…

Wait, is that perhaps a cane?

Iswen was limping.

The sight made me frown involuntarily, making me doubt my eyes.

Iswen was a well-known swordsman who had received knighthood based on martial arts alone, not status or anything else. He was so skilled in physical combat that he could even overpower Demian’s fiery temper.

Yet, the Iswen walking towards me now seemed to have difficulty taking a step without the stick he held in his hand.

It was then that he advanced in front of me and threw the object he was holding onto the ground.

The cane, made of silver and dark wood, sank into the white snow.

The same thing happened to its owner’s knees in an instant. My eyes widened on their own.

The man who had looked down on me from such a great height his entire life was kneeling in the snow, in front of everyone.

It was a sight my own eyes could see but not believe, yet there wasn’t an ounce of hesitation in Iswen’s action.

Taking an infinitely low posture with a shell that still looked cold and heartless, he spoke to me.

“Let’s go home.”