Bring It On! - Chapter 97

Chapter 97.

“But when I was with you, it wasn’t like that.”

“…….”

“There was the sea right in front of me, and I couldn’t even think about disliking it.”

“Why? Because you hate me more than the sea?”

“…You know that’s not true.”

“How would I know? You’re always getting mad at me.”

I said it with a teasing laugh, but Cha Yoon’s expression refused to soften. I never imagined I’d be having a conversation like this with him in a place so utterly silent. The strange part was how a calm, wave-like peace swelled from deep inside me. 

After enduring so many misfortunes today, the tension had finally eased, and I felt a sense of composure returning.

Perhaps that’s why I sensed it was time to say what I’d been holding back like a chore.

“Cha Yoon. Let’s stop all of this now.”

I looked him in the eye. His expression stiffened noticeably. I knew he must have been taken aback. 

But this relationship, held together only out of necessity, needed to be resolved before it went any deeper for both his sake and mine.

If I allowed myself to grow attached here, I feared that even if Cha Yoon left me, I wouldn’t be able to let go, just like I had with Jay. And I never wanted to go through that again.

Just as our connection had begun abruptly, a sudden parting seemed, in a way, natural. Perhaps someday, when time has passed and even our wounds become memories, we could look back on the days we fought simply because we didn’t understand each other and smile. 

Then, maybe, he could become the first true friend I’ve had in my life. That was my little hope, even if it was only mine alone.

There was a time when I had resented Cha Yoon deeply, but now the fiery emotions had faded into gray remnants. Cutting someone off wasn’t as simple as slicing with a knife.

Even when I felt anger toward him, my wish that he live well and sleep well without me outweighed it. Though his words and actions had hurt me, he had also helped me in many ways. 

I wanted to tie up the ending cleanly rather than let it end poorly, so that we could part with old feelings shaken off and leave each other with good memories.

“This isn’t impulsive. I really think it’s time to sort things out… about us. I kept thinking about it but never found the right moment. Suho likes you a lot, too…”

“Sun Woori.”

“It might be hard now because of your insomnia… but we can’t keep living like this forever. Still, if it ever gets too tough, reach out to me. I won’t ignore your messages like before. When we’re both okay, I hope we can meet sometimes, even if it’s just to have these trivial conversations.”

Cha Yoon’s eyes trembled with unease. His dry lips twitched as he tried to steady his breathing. His face remained cold and motionless for a long while. 

As I felt the subtle tremor in his body, the atmosphere shifted.

“No.”

He spat out a single word and dove into the pool. The previously calm surface erupted into rough waves, splashing over my body and face. I waited, but he didn’t resurface.

“Cha Yoon!”

Unable to bear the anxiety, I jumped in after him, grabbing his clothes and pulling him above the water. Coughing violently, he staggered.

“Are you insane?!”

His black eyes, seemingly impervious to light, fixed on my face as I breathed heavily. His gaze traveled over my lips, brushed my cheek, lingered on the tip of my nose. Finally, it settled back on my eyes, completely still.

“You worry about me? You want me to live?”

“…….”

“Then don’t throw me away.”

Throw me away? Who, whom? I couldn’t understand why Cha Yoon would say such a thing. I was subconsciously trying to deny the thought that had surfaced. No… it couldn’t be. Could it?

I scrunched my eyes and stared for a long while into his feverishly intense, damp gaze. Thinking back, the Cha Yoon I had met again had changed in almost every way. His tone of voice, his eyes, the small acts of care in his behavior. 

And the way he tended to Suho so attentively. Everything he did seemed to converge into a single meaning.

“…No.”

Before he even spoke, I shook my head. Cha Yoon’s eyes twisted in anguish. My chest felt tight, as if I couldn’t breathe. No matter what I said or did, I had a premonition that things were about to flow irreversibly in a direction I didn’t want. 

I didn’t want my ending with Cha Yoon to be like this. Not like this.

“Then why not me?”

His deep, somber voice pressed heavily on my heart. His face, unlike usual, was filled with a gloomy aura. The anxious glint in his eyes sent a dull ache to my chest.

“That’s a misunderstanding. Jay’s memories are subconsciously…”

“It’s not a misunderstanding. I—I like you. Sun Woori.”

“….”

The confession I had hoped never to hear rang in my ears, sinking deep into my eardrums.

“Don’t do this.”

“Sun Woori, please.”

He clutched me desperately, and everything I’d been holding back erupted. Heat quickly surged around my eyes as sorrow for the situation swept over me.

“You said I was a burden.” [Woori]

“….” [Cha Yoon]

“You said I should give up and not interfere. Do you know how—how hard that was for me…?”

“I’m sorry. Back then, I…”

“You shouldn’t have done that. You ignored me, mocked me, and now you say you like me? I finally accepted that I couldn’t look for Jay in you.”

“….”

“With you, with you, I won’t do that.”

It seemed like he was warning himself. How could I ever like someone else after Jay? Especially after Cha Yoon, who had forced me to deny Jay’s existence entirely, even preventing me from speaking of him. How could I deceive him?

The ember of feelings I thought had burned to ash flared up again. Guilt for Jay, Cha Yoon’s words that clawed at my heart, the fear that we’d hurt each other again… Confusing emotions tangled in my head.

Tears streamed down my cheeks without pause. Seeing my tears, Cha Yoon’s eyes finally shed drops too.

I pushed him away and turned. He surged through the water and grabbed me from behind, holding me tightly.

“Don’t go. If you want me to live, don’t go, Sun Woori…”

His tearful voice clung to me pitifully. I could feel his large body trembling violently with anxiety.

“Please, just look at me. Even once, just once, look at me.”

His voice, ragged and fragile, seemed about to break. But I grabbed his arms and pulled them down. Leaving him there, I exited the pool alone.

***

I hailed a taxi and headed home.

Any hope that Cha Yoon and I could remain on good terms seemed to mock me cruelly and shattered completely.

His confession hit me like a typhoon on a deserted island. Its sheer destructive force seemed as if it would swallow me, obliterating everything I had built.

How could I, with my resentment toward Jay, whisper words of love to him? Every time I faced Cha Yoon, guilt toward Jay would surge inside me. 

And Cha Yoon, who sensed even the slightest movements of my gaze, would surely notice. The outcome was as clear as day.

We would fail to control our heightened emotions, hurt each other, and this festering wound would inevitably reach a point where it could no longer be healed and would need to be severed. Our ending would be messy, painful, and gain nothing.

I don’t even know what state of mind brought me home. I cried for a long time in the dark, empty room. Resentment toward myself welled up. 

Sun Woori, did you really not know? Did you really think Cha Yoon was only here adjusting to me and Suho because of his insomnia?

Perhaps I had only wanted to pretend not to know. I kept denying it to myself, continually letting Cha Yoon in. 

Using Suho as an excuse, I was gradually becoming accustomed to the time spent with Cha Yoon and even finding some enjoyment there. So I may have been ignoring his feelings. 

I had gone insane. How could I, of all people, let myself be endlessly generous to Cha Yoon? The moments of my selfish leniency were unbearably shameful and disappointing. In the end, it all seemed my fault.

I roughly wiped away my tears with the back of my hand, packed all of Cha Yoon’s belongings into a single box, and placed it outside the front door.