Bring It On! - Chapter 98

Chapter 98.

“Noona… Hyung is here.”

Suho hesitated, pulling his face away from the window as he spoke. I pretended not to hear and didn’t glance in his direction.

“He’s been here since yesterday.”

“….”

“What if something happens to him?”

I tried to ignore the presence waiting for me, but finally let out a low breath. I was more worried about Suho than Cha Yoon. 

Just a few days ago, Suho had been laughing and joking with Cha Yoon, and now seeing him abruptly turned away at the doorstep must have been confusing. Before we went camping, Suho had even begged me not to fight.

I felt sorry for breaking my promise to Suho. But that didn’t mean I could accept Cha Yoon.

I led Suho into the room.

“Suho, you won’t be able to see your Hyung often anymore.”

“…Why?”

“Just like you consider me family, Jay has a family too. From now on, he’ll be with them, so he won’t come over.”

“But we said we’d live together, the three of us.”

“He’s sorry he couldn’t keep that promise. That’s why he just came by to see your face for a moment. Jay’s going to be really sad too.”

Suho, who was used to holding back tears, suddenly felt them well up uncontrollably. He finally couldn’t hold back and burst into sobs. I held him close, rubbing his back. I knew that the emptiness left by someone he considered family couldn’t be filled by any comfort or warmth from me. 

But it was a process he had to go through. I would do my best to make sure he didn’t feel void. I had to.

After a long while, I finally got Suho to sleep. The phone, which had been relentlessly ringing these past few days, went eerily quiet as if Cha Yoon’s number had been blocked.

It would be a lie to say I wasn’t worried about him. Lately, after a heavy rain, the temperature had dropped sharply. Cha Yoon, with barely the presence of mind to put on a coat, stood every day at the front of the house in a loose shirt.

Every time I left for or returned from work, I inevitably ran into him. Cha Yoon would cling to my pant leg, crying and pleading, and I steadfastly ignored him.

“Sun Woori, give me at least one chance to cling to you.”

“….”

“Sorry, I’m sorry for liking you. But I can’t live without you.”

I couldn’t accept his feelings. Things had gotten so twisted because I had been soft. I obsessively pushed myself, telling myself that I shouldn’t leave any room for Cha Yoon.

A few more days passed.

It was the day the forecast predicted the first snowfall. As always, Cha Yoon stood at the door, and it wouldn’t have been surprising if he collapsed. Even standing still seemed a struggle; he swayed constantly.

I watched him from time to time, ready to call an ambulance if necessary. No matter how pitiful or pathetic he seemed, that was all I could do for him.

By afternoon, as forecasted, white snowflakes began to fall. They piled up on the cold branches, gradually turning the world white. Every exhale made a cloud of white mist.

The biting cold wind made my teeth chatter and stung my skin. Feeling the icy winter air that pricked my lungs, I opened the umbrella I had brought. My steps quickened as I headed back to the house.

The streetlight in front of the house flickered as if about to go out. Without realizing it, I looked for a familiar figure. But the Cha Yoon who had been there just that morning was nowhere to be seen.

Alarmed, I ran to the front door. As I expected, he was slumped against the door, sitting as if he had collapsed. 

When I tilted the umbrella slightly forward, Cha Yoon slowly lifted his head. The face I hadn’t seen in a while looked pitifully gaunt. He picked up a shopping bag he had left beside him and stood.

“Give it to Suho. It’s cold in winter, so put this on him.”

“I’ll handle it myself. Take it.”

As I tried to pass him, Cha Yoon, with a spiteful grip, pulled me into his arms. The umbrella flew from my hand. Cha Yoon clutched me desperately, his body trembling with anxiety against my back.

“I… I’m… sorry.”

“….”

“Let me repay you for all the times I was rude, for all the times I hurt you.”

“Let go.”

“I’m fine being a substitute for Jay.”

I hadn’t expected him to say Jay’s name. I felt his racing heartbeat from his chest pressed against mine. I couldn’t tell whether the sound came from my heart or from his.

“I don’t care what you call me. Just let me stay by your side. Please, let me live.”

“Let go of me!”

I shoved Cha Yoon away roughly. His desperate words only ignited my anger further. How dare he use Jay for the sake of the two of us being together? 

I knew he had never truly accepted the life he had with Jay, yet now he was acting as if he didn’t know. How could that make anyone happy?

“You want me to call you Jay? Do you think that’s a normal relationship? Is that really enough for you?”

“Then what should I do? How… how can I be by your side?”

“None of that. Go back.”

Watching him cling to me pushed me to my absolute limit. Just disappear from my sight. Stop shaking me. Enough. 

I could feel the wall I had firmly built in my heart cracking under his tears, his pleas, his trembling. Desperate, I shouted, hating the repetition of this absurd situation. His once steel-like expression crumbled.

“….”

Cha Yoon said nothing, only clenching his fists tightly.

He only let out hollow, ragged breaths, as if he no longer had the right or shame to hold onto me. Tears fell pitifully from his eyes.

“Woori.”

After crying silently for a long while, he lifted his eyes and looked straight at me.

“Shall we go back to that island?”

“…You’re insane.”

“I want to stay longer than the time I spent with him, stay there forever if possible. If you want, anytime…”

At that moment, an enormous engine roar thundered behind us. I turned to see a car hurtling toward us like a maniac. The situation was so unreal and sudden that I couldn’t even think to dodge. It left me paralyzed. Then, a heavy arm pulled me.

“Cha Yoon!”

He grabbed me, enveloping me in his arms. The instant I felt his frozen, rigid body, it hit me like my whole head was being shaken. Before I could make sense of the situation, my consciousness was mercilessly dragged into pitch-black darkness.

***

Lavender-hued clouds stretched across the sunset sky, and beneath them, countless stars spilled like glitter. Jay and I sat side by side on the sandy beach, eating a late dinner. 

The salty smell of the sea, now familiar, and the warm residue of sand heated by the day lingered in the air.

“What about Suho?” 

I asked, and Jay nodded while brushing sand off my foot.

“The sky is amazing. You little romantic-less brat. He must be tired from work. Leave him be.”

A lavender sky like this wasn’t an everyday sight. On a deserted island with no internet or even a single boring book, watching the sky like this was a form of entertainment, a small joy.

Jay put some of the fruits and fish he had harvested that day into my bowl. I hadn’t noticed while eating, but glancing at him, I saw his bowl was filled with crushed, bruised fruit. I realized he had deliberately given me the best pieces.

Even though he was much bigger than me, he still took care of me. I scooped a large portion from my bowl and gave it to him.

“Why are you giving it to me?”

“Hey, stop worrying about me and refill your own fuel.”

“I’m already a pig, I have to eat moderately.”

“This isn’t fat, it’s muscle.”

Jay grinned slyly, asked, “Interested?” and let me touch his chest. The surprisingly soft muscle flexed under my hand, and I recoiled. Jay chuckled like a boy.

“Stop joking, just eat.”

“Hey, Sun Woori. Is this what love is?”

“Why all of a sudden?”

“Just watching you eat makes me full somehow.”

“Did you get heatstroke?”

“I want to give endlessly, make you laugh endlessly. These urges just keep popping up. Is this normal?”

Perhaps because of the rare sky, Jay was unusually sentimental today, spouting cheesy lines as if it were nothing. Soon, he’d probably write a poem. I just laughed lightly, uninterested in responding, but he continued.

“I want you to laugh and feel full because of me, not anyone else.”

“…Cheesy.”

“Pure love is supposed to be cheesy and childish.”

“….”

“But Sun Woori, you know what’s worse than being happy eating someone else’s food? Suffering because of me.”

“Well, I do get a little upset when you cause trouble.”

“I hate being the reason for your hesitation.”

“…What are you talking about all of a sudden?”

Jay smiled and ran his thumb across the corner of my eye. Where his hand passed, I felt dampness. I had been crying. For no reason at all. 

Once I realized it, the crying worsened, making it hard to catch my breath.

“What… what’s wrong with me…?”

“You’re not betraying me just because you don’t choose me. Don’t feel guilty.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t want you to cry or suffer because of me.”

“….”

“I only want your happiness. If you ever want to see me, just look back. I’ll always be there.”

“Why suddenly… no! Why do you talk as if you’re leaving?”

“Don’t cry, just smile. So I can love you freely.”

For a moment, Jay’s words, which had appeared out of context, left me confused. But I gradually understood what he meant. 

Because I couldn’t let go of him, Jay had let go of me first. His eyes comforted me, urging me to face the feelings I’d been avoiding. My heart felt like it was breaking.

I had let him see something I shouldn’t. My heart, constantly stirred by one person. Cha Yoon.

Even with Jay right in front of me, I was worried about him. I tried to deny it, telling myself it shouldn’t be this way, but in the end, it all came out.

Jay said nothing resentful. He didn’t curse me as a traitor. Instead, he let me confront my emotions, claiming he didn’t want to be a burden to my decisions.

“Jay.”

I called his name through tears. He tilted his head and smiled. Our lips met, but I felt nothing. No touch, no warmth, no scent. It was a kiss reminding me that I didn’t belong here.

I didn’t want to leave. Even holding him tightly, I felt none of his usual comforting presence.

“I told you, you don’t need to take any responsibility for me.”

“…Hic, ugh.”

“I’m fine just being here.”

“….”

“I’ll see you again, Woori.”

With that final line, consciousness returned. My ears, previously muffled, snapped open, and a rush of noise flooded in.

“Sun Woori, are you awake?! Sun Woori!”

I blinked slowly, my vision clearing. Tears that had gathered at the corners of my eyes slid down my temples.