You Said You Wanted Us to Break Up - Chapter 108

“Live my own life?”

The more I heard Iswen’s words, the more absurd they became.

“Everything I am choosing right now is also my life!”

Yes, that was right.

Back in Raslet, I had clung to the ship bound for Emerta as if it were the final destination of my life. I believed that the person I had been until then was as good as dead, and that a new life would unfold once I reached the beautiful coast of the Southern Kingdom.

But looking back, what I endured in those moments was also life.

As Iswen said, the past cannot be erased. That was the reason one had to cherish the present. Because every present eventually becomes the past.

Yet now, Iswen was telling me to just let the present drift away—to live like a person with closed eyes and ears and then disappear, just like in the old days.

For whose sake?

Gritting my teeth, I glared at the man who was avoiding me.

“There is no life that Your Lordship needs to provide for me.”

“…”

“So, if you truly care for me, don’t tell me I don’t need to know. Tell me the truth!”

* * *

Iswen avoided answering until the very end.

Still looking at neither Demian nor me, he muttered, “I need… I need time to think.”

The man raised a hand that betrayed his exhaustion and waved us away.

“Both of you, get out.”

It was a voice thick with fatigue, as if he wouldn’t listen to another word of protest.

Pushed out into the hallway by Iswen’s gesture, I took a moment to catch my breath. My heart was thumping, the emotional agitation still refusing to subside.

Demian, who had been watching my reaction from the side, tentatively spoke up.

“Um, Iella…”

I lifted my gaze from the hallway floor and glared at him. Perhaps because he had a guilty conscience, Demian avoided my eyes. Because he had been acting as if he would tell me anything if I asked, I hadn’t imagined that even he was hiding something.

However, thinking of it the other way around, it meant that Iswen wasn’t the only person I could get information out of. I made a demand of the man who was hesitating and watching my expression.

“Explain everything—everything that I don’t know.”

* * *

“Father wanted to control his children even before you were born.”

That was how Demian began after I caught him and dragged him under the flowering trees in the garden.

“I don’t remember it very well because I was young. To be honest, I was never beaten that harshly. If anything, brother was hit more than I was.” He added in a low voice, “I only got slapped a few times at most.”

But if it was before I was born, Demian would have been only four or five years old. And Iswen… he would have been barely half my current size.

Demian slowly continued.

“Then, my stepmother entered the family.”

The mother Demian described was a vibrant person—so much so that it was hard to believe she looked exactly like me. She was so full of hope that she even tried to run away from Father with Demian and Iswen in tow.

Demian calmly narrated the conclusion of that brief escape.

“We were caught.”

He cast his gaze down toward his feet.

“Father was truly furious when he caught us. Once we arrived at the manor, he dragged Brother away somewhere… but Brother would never tell me what happened then.”

“…”

“In the end, it wasn’t until I was dragged away in the same manner that I found out what Father had done.”

Demian fell silent for a moment to catch his breath. I waited for him to continue.

“Father had threatened Stepmother to place a curse on Brother. Stepmother came from a lineage of mages, so she was capable of such things.”

Demian continued his explanation in a quiet, steady tone.

The curse my mother had placed on her two stepsons was magic that held their bodies as collateral. While it couldn’t read their thoughts, the magic shared the sensations of their eyes and ears, becoming a leash for the two brothers—and the one holding that leash was Father.

And so, Demian and Iswen began to hide their true feelings to avoid having the things they cherished held hostage.

“We couldn’t do anything of our own will. No matter what we did, Father could find out.”

Demian gave a small shrug.

“But it’s okay now. Since Father is dead, the curse has been broken too.”

I blinked blankly, organizing his words in my head. To be honest, it wasn’t an easy story to accept. In my memories, Demian and Iswen had despised me so vividly.

People speak through their actions.

All this time, my two brothers had used their entire being to tell me they hated me. It was so intense that even the explanation that “there were circumstances” didn’t make it easy to swallow.

But.

A question suddenly surged from within. If a person truly speaks through their actions…

Then what was the meaning of those untouched glass jars? What was the heart of Iswen, which those objects were speaking for?

Watching my confusion, Demian lowered his head. The man’s broad shoulders began to heave slightly. He pleaded in a voice thick with tears.

“Please, Iella. You don’t have to forgive me. But my brother…”

Unable to even finish his sentence, Demian took a deep breath.

It was such a poignant display of brotherly love—something I had never once felt or received.

Without realizing it, a twisted bitterness surged within me. It was a cynicism I had naturally built up every time I faced a cold reality. When trying to endure confusion, building a wall of cynicism and pessimism was always the easiest path. A cold heart was the only weapon I could possess when I was never allowed to show any aggression.

But before I could pile up the breakwater, Demian spoke again.

From within him, a wave of light I had never seen before began to flow.

“Brother truly… he endured everything until now for us.”

* * *

The words Demian left behind ultimately became my obsession. Even while writing the letter I had to send the next day, they continued to drift back into my mind.

‘Brother truly… he endured everything until now for us.’

Us.

After ruminating on that word for a moment, I lowered my gaze to the desk. The wax on the stationery had already dried.

To post the letter, it was easiest to call the butler. He appeared shortly after I rang the bell.

“Did you call for me?”

“This is a letter for the Duke of Raslet. Please deliver it to him.”

“Yes, My Lady.”

When the man left the room with a polite bow, I stood up from my seat. Apple, who had been in the room with me, stood up as well.

“Where are you going?” she asked as she followed behind me.

“To Iswen.”

Yesterday, Iswen had said.

’I need time to think.’

But whether he was ready or not, I had already finished my thinking. Now was the time to put those thoughts into action.

Arriving in front of Iswen’s office, I signaled the knight to stop before he could announce my visit. Then, before anyone could say a word, I flung the door open.

Iswen was sitting at his desk. He had been looking down at something and hurriedly raised his head when he heard me enter. His large hand lunged forward, grasping a glass jar filled with sugar and flower petals as if to hide it.

Since I had already seen how brightly it sparkled, it was a completely useless gesture.

I approached the man as he scrambled to put on his stiff, mask-like expression.

“I’ve thought it over, and I’ve decided that I’m not going to care about the intentions behind your actions.”

“…”

“After all, Your Lordship has never cared about my feelings either, have you?”

What little color remained in Iswen’s already pale face drained away instantly. I knew what that look meant. It was the expression of someone sensing the end. It was a fact I had learned before returning to the South, having seen what kind of face a man in total despair wears.

But now was different from then. Because today, I had resolved not to end something, but to start something new.

“So, from now on, I’m going to do exactly as I please.”

I would not be respecting Iswen’s opinion.

“I will remember everything that happened in this house until the day I die, and I will find out every hidden secret even if I have to dig through the family graves. Just as you said, the past cannot be changed, so I will carve it into my heart so I never forget.”

“…”

“I don’t care if I end up carving away my own flesh to do it.”

Iswen called my name in a hoarse voice.

“Iella Rowen.”

I shook my head, cutting him off mid-sentence.

“Listen to me until I’m finished.”

All this time, Iswen had said everything he wanted to say to me. Demian claimed those weren’t the things he truly wanted to say, but I wasn’t going to take that into consideration right now.

Iswen narrowed his eyes and looked at me. Without backing down, I stared straight into them.

“I’m not going to follow a single thing Your Lordship told me to do, but I’m not going to live as unhappily as I did in the past, either.”

“…”

“Because even if the past can’t be changed, the future is something I can build with my own hands as much as I want.”

I took a deep breath. My heart was racing. I felt a tightening in my stomach. Venturing into a new environment always brings tension.

In the past, I was too terrified to take a single step. To be honest, I’m just as afraid now. But isn’t the rest of my future too precious to settle for living in anxiety?

“From now on, I am going to live a truly happy life.”

I will live very happily. So happily that the people who have only ever seen my miserable side won’t even be able to imagine it.

And perhaps… perhaps I might even let someone else join in that happiness. Even if we are standing on what is essentially ruins right now, building something new in this place is entirely up to our choice.

Taking another deep breath, I opened my mouth.

“So, this time, you be the one to cooperate, Brother.”

Those were the words I had wanted to say to him the most.

The man’s eyes widened as if he had heard something impossible. His lips, which had been clamped shut with force, began to tremble uncontrollably.

The tips of his ears, which usually looked like cold plaster, flushed deep red. Just as I was caught off guard by a sight I had never seen in my life, Iswen turned his head away.

Before the man’s hand could hurriedly cover his face, I saw a single drop of water fall from his chin.

* * *

The hallway of Raslet Castle, where a year-round chill lingered.

Ben knocked on the door of the head of the family’s office.

“Your Grace, a letter has arrived.”

There was no answer from within. This had become a familiar occurrence lately. With a small sigh, Ben spoke again.

“I am coming in.”

Inside the room, a young man sat at his desk. He was the head of the Raslet family, having inherited his father’s position several years ago.

Instead of looking at him, the young man merely gave a small nod as a response. With one hand, he continued to sign the documents that required his daily attention.

In his other hand, he held a bracelet exquisitely crafted with small green jewels. It was an ornament clearly made for a woman. The glittering gold chain turned slowly beneath his dark leather gloves, making a faint sound.

After watching him for a moment, Ben placed the envelope on the desk.

“It is a letter from the Rowens.”

Ben hesitated, his lips parting. He wasn’t sure what to say, but he felt as though he had to say something. However, before he could make a sound, the young man waved his hand.

“Leave.”

After a brief silence, Ben obediently followed the order.

When the sound of the door closing finally echoed, Sioden looked down at the letter in his hand. His eyes fell upon the wax seal engraved with an ornate lily of the valley. It was the seal of the Rowens.

He quietly tore open the envelope.

As his blue eyes slowly scanned the contents, they landed on a single sentence.

[-I am now ready to have the marriage annulled.]